Congratulates the West for beating the East once again, thanks to indecisiveness of LeBron James. However, I ain't gonna talk about NBA because the only topic of NBA right now is JEREMY LIN.
I'm gonna talk about East vs West.
Radio always play this song lately - A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. Wow, this is a very romantic song, isn't it?
"I have loved you for a thousand years...
I'll love you for a thousand more....."
Nay, not really.... Because you see -
Andy Lau will love you TEN thousands years.. TEN TIMES more than Christina Perri...
Even Joker (至尊宝 by Stephen Chow 周星驰) can say some he'll love ZiXia (紫霞) for 10,000 years...
And if God insists to have an expiry for this love
I wish that it would be - TEN THOUSAND YEARS!
And of course he is held under ZiXia's sword - but this is still 10x MORE romantic than by Christina Perri!
And this brought up some thoughts of East vs West
Maybe this is because Western history started only after the birth of Jesus Christ 2000 years ago....
Maybe this is because Eastern history started much earlier when HuangDi a.k.a. Yellow Emperor a.k.a. 黄帝 first unified the Chinese and recorded it in the history 5000 years ago..
And that's why in the East, we (even the lame Joker) tend to love 10,000 years while in the West, they tend to love only 1,000 years..
Yes, Easterners and Westerners have very different values of life and happiness - of course they have different opinion about male handsomeness.
West culture focuses on wild and mischievous,
Sometimes, a little dominating....
East culture focuses on cute and innocent.. Yupe that's right!!
(Wakakakakaka..... New level of Narcissism!)
Sometimes, a little girly and gayish
Nonetheless, these are very fine men and who really cares if they love you for 1000 years or 10,000 years? You're gonna be dead anyway.... But the idea is Eastern people tend to be more loyal than the Western people......
Think about it - Christina Perri vs. Stephan Chow.......
Wait a minute, was I wrong at the starting point - it should have been Male vs Female after all.
Male is a much better and loyal lover than female.....? ! LOL
Happy new year! I've been very busy lately and have no time to do my blogging. Therefore, I would like to apologize for those who miss my cocks.
But after watching this video, I MUST USE MY PRECIOUS TIME TO LET THE WORLD KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IN MALAYSIA - THE BELOVED COUNTRY THAT I AM LIVING IN.
First of all, I am very gladful that I am born in Malaysia - which practices democracy. Unlike countries who practices despotism like North Korea, I, as a Malaysian, have the right to choose my government. However, this is not how it seems from the outside. The problem with the democracy system in Malaysia is we do not have the ability to choose our government despite the right we have to choose. Why is this so?
1. Malaysia practices racism constitutionally. You'll need some history knowledge to understand how and why this happened and that will be another cock post of mine. In brief, the Malays (as a race) has the absolute right over other races.
2. Malaysian political parties are built based on skin colors. In order to join one political party, you have to born that race to join that particular party. For example, only Malays are allowed to join United Malays National Organisation (UMNO) and only Chinese are allowed to join Malaysian Chinese Association (MCA) . Such political parties create unfairness in voting system as the voters can only vote for the party based on their skin colors. With nearly 70% of Malays in Malaysia, other races do not stand a chance.
3. Lastly, we lack of political parties with quality. This is the main reason I feel that my right as a voter is STRIPPED OFF and the reason I am writing this post. Because we do not have any quality political party, as voters, we do not know who to begin with for voting. It is like choosing between Adolf Hitler and Kim Jung Ill.
If you have twenty minutes, please listen to the above POWERFUL speech and I am sure that you will, like me, get inspired by her to write such a post about Malaysia politics so naturally. I guarantee you that this twenty minutes of speech is so powerful that you feel this is enlightenment moment of your life. Why so? Because after listening to her, you'll be for DAMN SURE who you'll be voting now - IT IS THAT POWERFUL!!!!!!!!
And here is a letter for Auntie Tay, that I would tell her personally:
Hello Auntie Tay,
Were you on drugs when you were giving a speech like that? Don't tell me no because it is clearly that you have just snorted 1kg of cocaine that fucked up your brain. If you didn't, how did you have the guts to speak so dumbly in the public? Have the guts to represent your political party at the dumbest way? And speak so dumbly that we really doubt that you have a brain at all.........
Oh by the way, are you representing a new political party MCA? Last time I recalled MCA was Malaysian Chinese Association and I do not remember it became Malaysian Cantonese Association. So why are you giving a speech in Cantonese? As a Chinese, aren't we supposed to use our official language - Mandarin a.k.a. Standard Chinese. Please don't argue with me Cantonese is a Chinese language too blah blah blah.... Please listen to the facts, if you're willingly to face the facts: 1. There are 1.365 billion Mandarin speakers while there are only 70 million Cantonese speakers in the world. Malaysia has about 7 million Chinese. So by ratio (the way you like to use for example), there are only 350,000 Chinese or 4.8% Chinese understands what the hell you are speaking.
2. Mandarin language is t-h-e official Chinese language. Therefore, as a Chinese association, the official language should be Mandarin. If you wanna speak Cantonese or Hokkein or Hakka, we have others parties you can join. That's the reason why we have 广东会馆，福建会馆 etc... And if you can't speak Mandarin, go learn it before you want to represent Chinese. It is like having a dog representing us - do you think I'll vote for a dog, who can only bark, to represent me?
Just speak Mandarin, goddammit!! Oops, did I just use foul language? I am sorry but I only use foul language for profanity. What is profanity? Profanity is an act to show disrespect, disgust, loathing, or to express intense emotional. The reason, I am using profanity is just simply I want to to show my disrespect, my disgust, my loathing on you with such an intense emotion. How dare you condemn someone to express their feeling? You're so violating the Article 10 of the Constitution of Malaysia - which guarantees Malaysian citizens (like me) THE RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF SPEECH, FREEDOM OF ASSEMBLY AND FREEDOM OF ASSOCIATION. Goddammit bitch, study the law before you give a public speech!
And what's so wrong if someone who uses profanity and get voted? Are you trying to imply that the voters (like us) are so dumb to know what is right or wrong? That we're so dumb to vote for someone who uses profanity? Thank you for telling me, yes I am that dumb but you will not get my vote anyway. We, as Malaysian innocent citizens, do not need you to judge who we are nor you to test our IQ level. And who the fuck you think you are to judge us? I am not gonna vote for you and you will not be get voted by me and THAT IS THE FACT!! How many of you are willingly to FACE THE FACT???
And talking about facts - we have a lot of facts to talk about because your speech is mainly about your made up facts or unfactual shit. Just to let you know we can use internet to search for facts - maybe you didn't know how to use it yet. So please allow me to refute some of the statements you claim
1. Auntie Tay, you claimed that it is impossible for Malaysia to have two major political parties due to racial differences. You also brought the example of United States of America (U.S.A.), having two major political parties successfully, due to these two parties are both "WHITE" parties. The last time I checked (2 second ago) the current President of U.S.A. is a African American - which means he's a black. I am sorry if you're color blind or you are still living primitively with no access to current news. But please listen to my advice - just shut the fuck up.
2. You compared Malaysia government system to again, U.S.A. And again, you, fucking dumb bitch, use the wrong comparison again. Malaysia has a different government system than the U.S.A. Malaysia practices Parliamentary while U.S.A. practices Presidency. We, Malaysian citizens, vote for our representatives in our area respectively and then the government is decided by the numbers of representatives in Parliamentary House. Then, the Prime Minister is decided by the governmental party - whom we, as voters, have no direct rights to choose who to lead our country. On the other hand, American citizens vote for their state government representative AND at the same time the President of the country who presides over all the states. Both systems have their advantages and disadvantages and very different by aspect. The real problem here is different government system, instead of racial issues. Why the hell you like to bring up the racial issues? Are you trying to promote racism? I, as a Chinese, is FREE to vote anyone, despite the representative's race.
3. You used an example of sharing apples to express fairness in your political views. In your speech, you said that if I have 10 apples, I should give 7 to the Malays, 2 to the Chinese and 1 to the Indians, right? But allow me to say FUCK YOU bitch- we are no Communism. If I have 10 apples, why should I give any of my apples to anybody? Are you trying to promote Communism? Let me tell you some history of Malaysian Chinese Association (MCA). During the formation of MCA in late 1940s, most of the members are members of Kuomintang (KMT) who were in the opposition of Malayan Communist Party. And after 60 years, you try to promote Communism in the public to express your political view of fairness. This is the crime of 欺师灭祖!! Why should I vote for somebody who forgot about her own roots (that's the reason you speak Cantonese too)???? You will betray us ANYTIME!!!!!!!
4. You used an example of rape victim to illustrate unfairness practiced by another political party. You described that a rape victim is treated differently under different laws as the result of different states practice different laws. The fact that you used this example shows that you have no idea about Malaysia government system. Malaysia practices federation - which means our country is built by several self governed states, united by a federal (central) government. The key word here is self-governed - which means different states are allowed to practice different laws, provided that these laws do not go against constitution and federal government decision. Since you like to use U.S.A. as an example, I will use U.S.A. as my example then. U.S.A. practices federation - which means 50 states in U.S.A. have their own laws, governed by federal laws. For example, different states have different gun laws - in some states like Tennessee or Texas do not require permit to hold handgun and in some states like New York and Minnesota require permit to hold handgun. Is this fair? I'm holding a gun in Texas as a freeman but in New York, I'm a criminal!!! Why do you think it is unfair? You are the one who hold the rights to choose your government!!!!! If you think it is unfair, you have two options - move to another state OR change another government.
However, there is something I must all learn from you - NOT ASHAMED OF FAILURE. How can you continue to talk for 20 minutes while you receive only 10 claps from a crowd of 3000????? It is amazing that you can continue speaking like nobody business. If Abraham Lincoln has a face as thick as you, he would NOT be dead being shot in the face. YOU ARE BULLETPROOF!!!!!!!!
We, as innocent yet powerless Malaysian citizens, have always been pushed around by our VERY corrupted government. And when I say Malaysian, I mean ALL Malaysians regardless our racial difference. Now the time has come! We finally have our chance to choose who to lead us. Always remember this:
Weeks ago, I went to watch Aladdin, the musical. Aladdin is a very famous Arabic folk tale, thanks to the successful effort of Disney in cartonizing this folk tale. If you still remember the story, you can skip the summary plot (written by me). And if you don't, let me present you the story of Aladdin.....
Aladdin, a useless society trash who lives in the street of Arab, stole for living. One day, he met the Princess Jasmine, the princess of the country at the street.
After some flirting and corny pickup lines, Aladdin successfully laid Princess Jasmine.
Due to Aladdin poor background, they were forbidden to marry each other. However, Aladdin continued to sneak into the palace to meet (fuck?) Princess Jasmine.
Aladdin was captured by the evil Grand Vizier, Jafar for loitering in the palace and was tricked to retrieve the magical lamp in the deadly Cave of Wonder for Jafar.
Aladdin was trapped in the cave and summoned the Geenie accidentally.
Geenie granted Aladdin wish to be a Prince
Aladdin, as Prince Ali now, proposed to Princess Jasmine. At first, he was rejected. He invited Princess Jasmine for a ride on the magic flying carpet and they fell in love.
Jafar tricked Princess Jasmine to exchange Aladdin's magical lamp with a new lamp. Jafar used the Genie to become the Sultan himself and enslaved the original Sultan and Princess Jasmine.
Aladdin fought Jafar bravely and trapped Jafar into the magical lamp. Aladdin revealed the truth to Princess Jasmine. The Sultan, feeling indebtful to Aladdin, allowed Princess Jasmine to marry Aladdin despite his background. They lived happily ever after.
So what is the lesson of this story?
#1 Women are fucking materialistic.
Why??!?!? How?!?!?!? At first Jasmine was annoyed by Prince Ali as she still missed Aladdin. But when Prince Ali offer her a ride on his "magic carpet", she was amazed by the magic carpet. And after a journey on the magic carpet, she fell in love with Prince Ali. What the EFF is this? In the real world, it means that guys who has the "magic carpet" can court girls much easily than guys who don't. In another word, guys who has an amazing ride (like SPORT CARS) can court girls much easily than guys who don't own shit. Don't believe a girl who says she's unmaterialistic. Try to offer a ride with a Ferrari and with a Toyota, then tell me which has the higher success rate. In fact, studies has showed that women are aroused by sports car. That's why Jasmine chose to be with Prince Ali, instead of waiting for Aladdin....
#2 Women loves listening to lies
How do you think Aladdin, a useless street rat, can court Jasmine? He has no house nor a job and he steals for living. If he's living in our world, he's labeled as social trash, who creates all the social problems to the innocent citizens like us. But hey, why social trash always has a stupid dumb girlfriend - like Jasmine? Firstly, girls are dumb - DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!! Secondly, girls love listening to lies. Aladdin just fills up Jasmine fantasy of life that she never had and promises her all the promises he will never be able to fulfill. Yea, you call him asshole, but how many of you girls fall for guys like this? Women just love listening to lies instead of truth, because they are too weak to accept the cold hard truth. Oh you know why girls prefer guys with taller nose? Because they are better at lying!!!
#3 If you wanna be successful in life, you're gotta hold on to the "Genie"
Not many of us are born Kings. We have to work our ass off everyday to have a better life but most of the time, we are just working our ass off without getting the rewards. Ya we can blame this and blame that. But why they are people who are just more successful than you are? This is because they hold on to the "Genie" who grants them their wishes. We don't meet our "Genie" everyday and most of the time, our "Genie" is disguised in an old lamp - which hardly recognizable as our "Genie". Therefore, we have to very sensitive to every possible chances in our life and fucking hold on to it. Once we have our "Geinie", we have to fucking abuse it - then you can be as successful as Aladdin.
How to abuse Genie #1 - Use it wisely for your own good!
How to abuse Genie #2 - Use it ASAP when you have the chance!!
So let's recap what we've learnt from Aladdin
#1 - Women are fucking realistic
#2 - Women loves listening to lies
#3 - We must abuse our Genie in order to be successful
November 12, 2011 - Hennessy is throwing out the greatest party in Malaysia - H-Artistry - but I prefer to call it the Art of H'in. Why so? Because this party is full of H-Art. Some dirty minded motherfuckers out there might think H-Art is something related to Hentai Art. But sorry, this is a clean post - so let me introduce you the real Art of H'in:
The Art of Hennessy-mixing
As a notorious party monster, I love all kind of drinks - and Cognac is one of favorite drinks. And Hennessy is the world leading Cognac producer - selling 50 million bottles a year or approximately 40% of world Cognac. Yea, it's gonna fucking drown you!! We can drink Hennessy Cognac in many ways - we can down it like a man or drink the mixed Hennessy like a pussy.
Drinking the mixed Hennessy might portray yourself as a pussy but mixing Hennessy is a fucking ART. There are hundred ways of mixing Hennessy, from as simple as mixing with Coke and ice to as complicated as Tap That Ass (I didn't make that word out - the name of the Cocktail is "Tap That Ass")
Mixing Hennessy is a real art. If you wanna be a party monster (like me) - you have to:
a) down neat Cognac like a man - to impress those who can't drink like you
b) master the Art of Mixing Hennessy - to impress those who want to drink with you
But no worries, H-Artistry will prepare everything you need. All you need to do is to prepare you liver.
The Art of Handsoming
For guys, the Art of Handsoming is one of the most important element in H-Artistry party. Although girls are not as superficial as guys, being handsome is a great advantage. If you think you are born ugly, it's okay - you can always go for cosmetic surgery. But God created everyone equally - and all guys are handsome, it just depends on how you portray yourself.
Of course, I don't think I am as handsome as Nichkun from 2pm because I think I'm better!! Don't give me this (=.=") face because the very first rule of the Art of Handsoming is to think you're handsome - the more handsome you think are, the more handsome you will become. Do you think Justin Bieber is handsome? But why the fuck he get so many girls' fans - from 3-year-old baby girl to 80-year-old grandma? This is because he thinks he is handsome - thus, he sings handsomely, act handsomely and get paid handsomely!
Here are some great examples of how you portray yourself is more important
If you think you are too slim to be handsome - please have a look at G-dragon and refer to him
If you think you are too short to be handsome - please have a look at Tony Leong and refer to him
If you think you are too poor to be handsome - please have a look at the beggar Xi Li Ge (犀利哥) and refer to him
If you think you have too less hair to be handsome - please have a look at Jason Statham
If you think you have too old to be handsome - please have a look at Hugh Hefner
If you think you have too big the belly to be handsome - please have a look at John Travolta (sorry!)
When you master the Art of Handsoming, you can master the H-Artistry party with great ease!
The Art of Hunting
Of course, being handsome alone don't get you nowhere because girls don't approach to you just because you're handsome. You gotta do something!!! We need the Art of Hunting and I mean real hunting. Hunting in the party is more dangerous than hunting in the jungle. You have to risk being fed with lemon, poured with water, slapped by the girl, punched by her boyfriend, thrown out of the party and worse, humiliated by your friends for the rest of your life~!!!! As a macho man like me, being humiliated is worse than dying. Therefore, you can't make mistake while hunting.
The Art of Hunting becomes especially important in H-Artistry party because
a) This is invited only party - means that the prettier girls are more likely to be invited (fuck the real world!!!)
b) The girls tend to dress as the brightest star in the crowd - means that we have a lot of competitors
c) There are lots of Hennessy for us to drink - means that we will drink a lot and will act very irrationally sometimes.
But good thing is Hennessy Cognac makes thing easier for guys. If you don't know how, listen to the following song and learn how from Nate Dogg
"How to get girls to leave with me? Conversation and Hennessy!" O yea - All hail mighty Hennessy!!
Nonetheless, the Art of Hunting is very a difficult art to master and the most important essence of this art is: "Veni, vidi, vici" a.k.a. "I came, I saw, I conquered". Truly believe in it, you'll get the world like Julius Caesar.
The Art of HipHoping & Housing
Another important element of the Art of H'in is the Art of HipHoping & Housing! A party without music is like a car without wheels - it just won't move! This year we are very lucky to enjoy the music by Chris Willis, Park Jung Min, Landy Wen, Yolanda be Cool and Goldfish & Blink and the host by Fay Hokulani, Julie Woon and VJ Utt. And let me introduce you them one by one:
1. Chris Willis - an American music producer. He was a gospel singer (gay?) but transformed into pop icon after collaborating with house music producer David Guetta. His iconic music includes Love is Gone and Getting Over You - and they will blow your mind!!!!
2. Park Jung Min - K craze is not over. In fact, it's getting crazier. He is a Korean rising singer and for those K-pop fans - you won't gonna miss him out. (I still wish to have G-dragon though...)
3. Landy Wen - fucking hot Taiwanese singer, probably the hottest in the H-Artistry 2011. Her most iconic song is The Roof (屋顶) with Jay Chow but we don't wish listen to this song while partying. Let's just enjoy her hot body instead of her songs, shall we?
4. Yolanda be Cool - an Australian band (the next famous thing after Savage Garden?) and got into the international scene with their catchy song - We No Speak Americano - and this song will make the girls move their ass!!
5. Goldfish & Blink - a local band. Please support Malaysian product! Happy Satu Malaysia~~ Miss Nina rocked last year, let's hope they will rock too?
The Art of High'in
Lastly, after mastering all the H-Art above, we must master the last art - The Art of High'in. After all, what is point of going party if you're not high?
This is how you get high with the Art of H'in!
This is how you see the world after you master the Art of High'in
So party people, ready get party?
p/s: Having a little H-Artistry party of my own at my house before the real H-Artistry party start =D
PM me for more details!!!!!! Party forever, i <3 party~~
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