The Cock Day

You didn't read this wrongly - Yes, there is a day to celebrate something a man ALWAYS proud of - The COCK. Maybe someone out there is not proud of his cock, but it's okay - because at this day, it's the cock day. I ain't talking cock about the cock day because every first Sunday of April, the cock day festival is celebrated in Kawasaki, Japan.

What is this Cock Day about?
This cock festia is called Kanamara Matsuri, which means "Festival of the Steel Phallus". For those who don't understand what a phallus is - A phallus is an erect cock. Yes, you didn't read this wrongly either - the name of the cock festia literally means "Festival of the MIGHTY IRON COCK!!"


Why is the Cock Day being celebrated?
There is a Japanese legend that a sharp tooth demon stayed in a girl's vagina (fucking horny bastard!). This pussy demon ate two men's cock during the poor lil girl's two weddings. A blacksmith built an iron cock (iron dildo) and fucked the girl so badly that he killed the demon. And hooray, the pussy demon is dead and the cock day is born! And this is the day we all should celebrate because fucking kills evil, hence purifying us. The more we fuck, the closer we are getting to the heaven! Some even are able to travel to the heaven for a moment while fucking. Hooraay to our cock!

(Click on the image to see the pussy demon in action!!!!! ----->)

How do the people celebrate the Cock Day?
Since it is the Cock Day, the main theme of this celebration will be our beloved cock. Therefore, you see cocks everywhere - in the form of candy, decoration, carved vegetables, statues for prayers and the real thing (some show off).


Talking about the cock statue for prayers, a cock mikoshi will be carried from the shrine to the neighborhood for the people to worship.

Why do the people worship the Cock?
There are a few reasons for the people to worship the cock. The businesspeople worship the cock for business prosperity. The hookers worship the cock for protection against sexually transmitted disease. The couples worship the cock for good sex life. The gays worship the cock for the sake of being just gay. The guys worship the cock in the hope of getting their own cocks bigger and staying longer.

And the girls worship the cock for a few reasons. First, they want to thank the rock-hard cock that kill the demons inside them. Second, the cock is the key to the heaven once a while. Third, they worship cocks just because they are girls.

(disclaimer: I'm not sexist!!! For entertainment purposes only)

Yes, we love cocks!!!!!!!!!

Why do we have Traffuckic Jam in Kuala Lumpur

One of the biggest problems of having cars is dealing with the traffic jam. If you pronounce traffic jam (Tra - fuck - it - jam) slowly, you will realize how traffic jam fucks up our daily life. We might wonder what causes traffic jam in Malaysia. Cars too many? Roads too small? Everyone just happens to work at the same time? Let me explain what causes traffic jam (at least in my opinion, yea):

The Cut Queue Sohai
These cut queue sohai's are fucking irresponsible and selfish. They think only their time is time, others time is not time. We wait long long at the back there, they just cut in. Sometimes cannot cut in, then block all the cars behind at the other lane that not suppose to wait.
Solution: Put very sharp nails before the divider so that they will get intimidated to cut queue.

The 10 Years Construction
It's common to take 10 years to finish the constructions in Malaysia. Before election, the parti parti propose to build this build that. So they start to build the pillar and put some fences there to block the whole road. After election, the construction progress totally halts. Wait for 5 years until the moment right before the next election, the parti parti continues with their constructions. "Yea, we'll finish building this after we got elected!" Okay, after they got elected, constructions got halted too. Wait for another 5 years right before the election, "Okay, we will complete this construction!!" So now they must finish the constructions before proposing another 10 years project. And the cycle goes on....... and the road will be blocked for 10 years and 10 years and another 10 years and go on............
Solution: Fuck the government!

Mat Rempit
Mat Rempit are hardcore X game fans. They can do "superman", "no hand", "one wheel" all kind tricks. And even better, they do it on highways. They always race here race there, do stunts here do stunts there. One mistake = accident = traffic jam for the whole highway. Seriously, if they want to die, then just kill themselves. Please do kill other people before killing yourself, you there motherfuckerempit.
Solution: If you driving car and see mat rempit, hit them with your car before they hit you! This is called first move advantage!

Blind Fucktards
These fucktards are fucking inconsiderate. Although the traffic light is green, it is impossible for them to cross the junction before the light turns red. But these fucktards thought, "Nevermind lar, just 1 second only.. They can wait 1 second then they can move already.. No problem lar!" But the fact is they got jammed for 20-30 seconds and the other lane that suppose to go can cross the junction although it's green light. So when it's the other lane's turn, they did the same thing too! "Fuck lar, just now green light 20 sec but those jibai block there. Now I go block them too!" Therefore, the whole junction got jammed so fucking badly.
Solution: Hit those blind fucktard with your car when the light is green. By law, you are suppose to go and they are stopping at the yellow lines = you win!

Malaysian Smart Police
Malaysian police are damn smart. They can do lanjiao magic - 5 lanes become 1 lane for no purpose. If they see you use emergency lane, then it's their "kopi time"!! They purposely cause problems to the innocent drivers. So much free time do lanjiao stuff, but no time to catch mat rempit.
Solution: Give them more money to drink "kopi" if you got caught. So that they can hit their monthly target with less lanjiao operations.

Too Many Tolls
I don't underfuckingstand why Malaysia has so many tolls. First, oil price in Malaysia is NOT cheap!! Even USA has cheaper oil than Malaysia, an oil producing country. Second, cars in Malaysia is fucking expensive. x3 of the price due to the tax to protect our national useless cars - fucking Proton and Perodua. Third, our road tax is not cheap too. Fourth and most importantly, even if we have to pay for the tolls, we still stuck in the traffic jam. So WHY THE FUCK YOU BUILD A HIGHWAY THAT HAS TRAFFUCKIC JAM 24/7 AND CHARGE US FOR IT???
Solution: Fuck the government too!!

We went to Taipei for Clubs (only)..

Chiam a.k.a. Tommy a.k.a. chiamnoinoi a.k.a. ahbui, Ash and me (of course) went to Taipei for clubs only! Therefore I will tell you the stories of my Taipei clubbing trip!

First club we went to - on the first day of our arrival - is......... eh wait, I forgot the name of the club. It was 18 or something like that, but I couldn't find in the internet. Anyway, it wasn't a good club. At least for my experience it wasn't.

First Club (This is not the name of the club)
Everytime when you first do something, you sure very noob 1 mar. Same to clubbing also lor. Even though I can be crowned as Clubbing King, my first clubbing experience in Taipei was seriously noobfucked =( First of all, we have to admit the fact that every girl is VERY different (quoted from Ah Niu - Girls Opposite There Please Look at Me). Taipei girls are like a new unexplored species of chicks. Girls are never difficult, you just need to know the way, right? But the problem is I did not know the right way - or I did not know what the girls want in the club. So total failure for that night - success rate = 0% out of 100 girls I've talked to =(

Very pathetic right? Therefore, I spend my next 12 hours thinking what's wrong with me before we headed to our next club destination

Second Club (Sorry I forgot the name again!!)
The reason why I forgot about the name of this place because this is not really a club. This is more like a trance party. It's like an indoor basketball court and was made into like a stage show. DJ spinning in trance shit on the stage while we pray to the music. It is more like watching Techno-version of Andy Lau or Jacky Cheong concert haha..

At first the party was kind of boring because we had to buy drinks, despite of the expensive entry ticket. After the 0% success rate experience I had, I was actually kind of intimidated of meeting girls!! I was totally noobfucked, I agree =( MOST importantly, there was a lady who actually looks like Kaede Matsushima!!!! (60% lookalike). The reason why I used the word "lady" because I think she's above 30. But hey, she looks like Kaede, who cares? Because I was fucking intimidated, I didn't even try to approach her - something very regrettable in my trip =(

Totally pissed with my noobness, I ordered 1 vodka and 1 beer, finished them at once to get myself a lil tipsy. Wow thanks to the help of alcohol, I got some courage now! But I was still intimidated to talk to "Kaede" (man! she looks like Kaede!!! It's meeting someone biggest in your life!!) So I approached other girls.

Amazingly, my success rate was 2 out of 3 (66.66%!!!). I had lots of fun dancing crazily with the girls I newly met. Yea it's a trance party!! What do you expect? People just dance their ass off. But when it comes something more personal, I think the success rate will drop to 0% again =( But it's okay, I'm there to dance, I just want some dance, not romance.

So the trance party was good. I enjoyed and danced until the DJ stopped spinning. So what next?

Third Club - LUXY (Okay I remember the name of this club, finally!)
That night was a ladies' night and it's gonna be a good good night. Yes it turned out to be one of my best clubbing experience! First of all, guys can enter for free too. Don't WTF me, yes we entered for free. Maybe because I was leading the way and I was handsome that night haha...

So guys could enter for free, there must be more guys than girls right? NO!!! I would say there were more girls than guys. And some seriously nice looking girls.

Let me put it in this way - Ash broke his virginity of talking to girls in club that night - can you imagine how much fun we had that night? I danced my ass off even without the help of alcohol. Good DJ - and I think this DJ was in Phuture too =) International famous DJ? Haha...

Too bad it was my last night in Taipei. Couldn't do stuff much because I had to catch a flight early in the morning =(

Nevertheless, clubbing in Taipei is fun. Here some few tips for you guys who are going to clubs in Taipei.

Lesson no1 - the girls' friends are always your fucking enemy! Don't even try to treat them nice! Although the girls are interest in you, their friends will pull them away thinking that you're one big prevert ham sap lou. The male friends are fucking narrow minded, scare me this handsome kao 7 their lui's. And the female friends are just fucking jealous because me this big handsome didn't talk with them. Therefore, if you really want to get a girl, destroy her friends first!

Lesson no2 - always buy them something to drink. Let me tell you how to make them dance with me - conversation + alcohol to make them tipsy. Alcohol not only helps making them to think you're more adorable, also shows that you're willingly to spend on her.

Lesson no3 - act fast, or else they will be taken fast enough to let you regret. Refer to my "Kaede" situation =(

So good luck clubbing you folks. Oh yea, to the girls who love clubbing - Taipei is a fun place to club, at least there are always guys as handsome as me!

tell me how to lag in Seoul?

wtf connection in Seoul!! tell me how to lag??

(click to enlarge and look at the speed!!)

Shame on you streamyx!!!!

I ♥ Kong Fu Zi~~

Kong Fu Zi 孔夫子 (a.k.a. Kong Zi 孔子 a.k.a. Confucius a.k.a. K'ung Fu-tzu) is a very legendary man - smart and wise. I love him, love his thinking, love his philosophy - especially the part of "When your friends visit you from far away, you should be fucking happy (有朋至远方来，不亦乐乎)". I'm a person who loves hanging out with friends. So this time I hung out with my friends somewhere far away! So that I can make them happy just by visiting them, according to Kong Fu Zi's philosophy.

I'm pretty familiar with Hong Kong because TVB always shows Hong Kong places. Therefore, it's not hard for me to travel there. Plus, I have some friends there. And imagine what happens when a party beast meet up with party monster? You can make Buddha shuffle =) Didn't you hear of "当party精遇上party妖,如来佛祖都识跳舞!" meh? So therefore we went to...........

Lan Kwai Fong 蘭桂坊
Lan Kwai Fong is basically like a place where all the clubs and bars located in Hong Kong. Hottest place in the night with hot chicks and hot guys. Wanna get one night stand sure come here 1. The clubs/bars are fucking good. I went to a club entrance of HKD200 but they have open bar until 3am - which means they have free flow of alcohol for only HKD200!! Wtf was that? They're trying to kill my liver is it?

By the way, it was my first time to Lan Kwai Fong because usually I went to Hong Kong with my parents. Parents never knew that I love party so much - and I'm actually referred as party妖 (a.k.a. party monster)!! How can I miss a place like Lan Kwai Fong? Luckily, my very close friend, party精 (a.k.a. party beast) brought me here! Dang! Dang! Dang! Danggg~~♫♪ !! Gonna go to Lan Kwai Fong again, I'm gonna miss you babe =)

Another place I went was Shenzhen (as I've mentioned on my previous post about LCCT).

Shenzhen深圳
Shenzhen ar Shenzhen, 3 years no see, like 30 years no see, changes so much dy. Those apartments and tall buildings grow like wild grass. Keep growing more and more only. Aiyo, you think it's like in some countries meh? One road takes 5 years to build 20 metres, another 5 years to complete to win some votes. Then all the roads and buildings built in those sucky place where those people cannot afford to buy 1. Wanna spoon feed them they also lazy to open their mouth, haih~~~

Okay back to Shenzhen, okay lar.. Basically still not much comment about Shenzhen because I seriously know NOTHING about this city. Too damn big for me to understand it in one day. But I'm sure it will be a fun place because there are some others party精's living there. Some day, one day, I'm gonna get you I promise!

--

Lastly, I'm gonna say it again 有朋至远方来，不亦乐乎! So if any friends from far away visit me, i will be fucking happy, okay? Still loving Kong Fu zi <3333!!

My first Post t(-.-t)

Yay! This is my first post of talking cock here. I'd better warn you readers first - i will be using a lot of strong words to express my feeling here - mahem, talk cock mar, if don't use foul words ar, where got feeling of talking cock wor? t(-.-t)

I've closed down my previous blog which wrote about my life - travels, foods, parties etc. Don't know why suddenly no mood to write about my life, so mai wanna talk cock about others' life. Therefore it will be VERY subjective, if you don't like it, then mai bullshit me back lor. Aiya, life is so stressed already, talk talk only mar, so don't so serious about what I wrote here sometimes.

I will be having a few catagories:

• Business
• Cities
  
• Politics
• Porns - don't wtf me porns, i'm a 100% normal guy who has basic needs, k? and this explains why i don't need prostitution too =D
  
• Sports
• Tech
• Zhap-plang - anything that do not fall into the catagories above is called zhap-plang okay?
  

Okay lar, so I think that's all about my first post. Just a brief about wtf i'm gonna cock here lor. Stay tuned and don't get wtf-ed t(-.-t)