Don't ask me who invented this word - Don't-give-a-fuckism - but this is a fucking real word. So what is "Don't-give-a-fuckism? Don't-give-a-fuckism is an ism concerned mainly with not giving a fuck." from Wikipedia. (Told you, i ain't kidding).
Funny that when I see someone using "anonymous" and commented "i don't give a fuck". This blog is all about talking cock. I understand people get offended sometimes by all these cock talks. You can either bullshit me back or fucking ignore and fuck off. If you don't wanna give a fuck, please DON'T GIVE A FUCKING FUCK and stay the fuck off from my blog.
By the way, using as "anonymous" is a fucking ball-less act and all anonymous will be deleted. To all "i -don't-give-a-fuck-anonymous", here is a big FUCK YOU. I write this fucking blog and I decide whose comments get to stay, not you!! Sue me, bitch!
Recently just got back to Malaysia and found a very odd way to greet in Malaysia - Salam Satu Malaysia. This is fucking retarded because I was never taught to greet like this when I was in primary school and secondary school. "Selamat pagi", "Selamat tengahari", "Apa khabar?" or even "Asamalaikum" are the common greetings that we use in daily life. But since when "Salam Satu Malaysia" becomes a common greeting in Malaysia? You hear it all the time, in radio, in TV, in speech etc.
I don't see why we need to greet people with "Salam Satu Malaysia". Aren't we living in the same fucking country all the time? I could understand if Western Malaysians greet the Sabahians and Sarawakians "Salam Satu Malaysia" because they are not in the Malaysia map. Some might argue that "No, Sabah and Sarawak have bigger land!!" Let me ask you, when you introduce Malaysia to stupid foreigners who do not know where Malaysia is, do you introduce Malaysia "at the north of Singapore" or "at the north of Indonesia"? Got it? Therefore, Western Malaysia > Eastern Malaysia!
(Oh fuck, we are supposed to talk about Satu Malaysia not comparing West vs East. This is not NBA)
After some research, finally I understand the importance of the greeting of "Salam Satu Malaysia". By promoting "Salam Satu Malaysia", government is encouraging me to pikat girls from other races! I have to admit that I've met a lot of hot Malay and Indian chicks recently. Behind the idea of "Salam Satu Malaysia" is that we should encourage interracial marriage! Chinese and Indian should adapt part of the Malay culture of having four wives. Malay and Indian should adapt part of the Chinese culture of having lots of mistress. Chinese and Malay should adapt part of the Indian culture such as Kama Sutra!
I love Malaysian government. Salam Satu Malaysia!!!!!!
Goldman Sachs is an international firm that involves in investment banking, securities, investment management and other financial services primarily with institutional clients. Goldman Sachs provides mergers and acquisitions advice, underwriting services, asset management, and prime brokerage to its clients, which consist on corperations, governments and individuals. In short, it is a firm that control the finance market in the whole world.
However, Goldman Sachs has been accused involving in frauds. The firm has reached a settlement with Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) after months of trials in US court and the firm agreed to pay $550 million as fine a.k.a. "saman".
Yes, it is indeed $550 million for "saman" and my first reaction is OH MY HOLY FUCKING GOD!! Fines are usually paid in cash or via bank transaction. If the fines are being paid in cash, these would be 5.5 million piece of $100 bills (which you can see the sample on your left). And you will need a fucking huge warehouse for all these money!!
The whole Malaysia income in the year 2009 (a.k.a. GDP) was $220 billion. And the fine itself is roughly 1/400 of the whole Malaysia income! This is a huge number for a firm to pay a fine. And, in fact, this is the largest fine ever given by the SEC to a financial firm.
However, I believe that this fine is too generous for Goldman Sachs. Last year, Goldman has profited $13.39 billion in that fiscal year itself. This means that Goldman Sachs earns $36.7 million per day. $550 million of fine is equal to only 14 days of its profits. Also, we should not forget that Goldman Sachs profited $5 billion (from $71.6 billion to $76.6 billion) as their stock price increased after the settlement was announced last Thursday. So what is $550 million for Goldman Sachs? NOTHING!
However, Goldman Sachs sucks all the blood of the poor by misleading the poor into unprofitable investments. Part of the reasons we are still facing a world recession is due to Goldman Sachs' fraud. Goldman Sachs paid its fine of $550 million to SEC. This $550 million means nothing to Goldman Sachs but it means EVERYTHING to the millions of the poor.
p/s: Goldman Sachs has a very ugly logo because this firm is formed since 1869. It used to be my dream company and is still my dream company. Please forgive my unethical behavior.
I am such a fool not to include this reason when I evaluated the reasons why we have traffic jam.
I am not saying a traffic jam in particular area but traffic jam as a whole in this planet.
I must confess that I am NOT a sexist.
I beg all the readers that agree with me please post a comment agreeing on it (this will help to improve the situation here).
What I'm saying here is all my personal opinion - which means you can counterfuck me all you want.
...............End.................
One very important reason that we have traffic jam is because WE HAVE FEMALE DRIVERS!!!! Yea right, female drivers cause a lot problems such as accidents that lead to traffic jam and you gotta agree with me. The reasons are as follow:
Super Hot Female OMG where are you focusing at, guys? I know she's hot but you gotta stay focus and concentrate to drive! I know it's hard to stay focus when you saw a hot girl driving alone. Your eyes will automatically focus on her wearing, her boobs, her face, her legs etc but guys, stay fucking focus on the damn road!! Most of the time, hot female drivers cause unnecessary accidents and then we have traffic jams. Solution: Jerk off and drink some coffee before you drive. Jerking off makes you less horny and coffee makes you stay awake and focus.
Pretty Wannabe Female I know you're not pretty but you wanna be one. Believe me, putting on cosmetic will not as effective as going for plastic surgery. Plastic surgery might cost some money but remember this - you need to pay only once and cosmetic surgery is like interest from loan sharks - you gotta pay every month! When girls putting on cosmetic, 99% focus will be on their face and 1% left for the hot male driver who just passes by. "Should I put on more lipstick?" "Does this color of the lipstick match my shirt?" "My eyelashes look fake, gotta buy a new one!" etc..... Solution: Go for a plastic surgery.
Pondan Yes pondan is included as female because they are not included as male. When guys look at pondan, the first thing they will do - OMG WTF BBQ and close their eyes to avoid looking at them for another second. And BAMMM!! The car crashes into the car in front. When girls look at pondan, they will do - OMG WTF BBQ I THINK I'M PRETTY THAN HER and syok sendiri for 10 second without focusing on the road. And BAMMM!!! The car crashes into the car in front. Solution: Pondan, please wear mask or just get a better plastic surgery, thanks!
Penguin Penguin has so limited view when they have to wear such bulky stuff. Also, penguins tend not to stay very focus when they are driving. "Umm what day is today? Tuesday? Phew, luckily it's not my turn to fuck that old small dick and I could try the new dildo I bought!" "Fuck, it's Wednesday!! I hate sucking an eraser!" "Oh shit, I forgot the prayer (eyes close) Allahwallakaka wakakakakakaka salam...." Solution: Believe in Jesus Christ and he will bring to heaven too!! And you don't get to share your husband!!! Easily Shocked Female "OMG WTF BBQ was that?? I am so shocked!!!!!!" "OMG WTF BBQ!!! Why you just stopped suddenly???!?!?!" These kind of female drivers reacted with 100x emotions with tiny little thing. They tend to brake and stop the whole car for any tiny thing happens even at the most usual situation. They can stop their car without any warning. If you are driving near these drivers, you'd better avoid them! Solution: SHOUT louder than them to make them shut up! Emo Female Girls tend to be more emo than guys. "Omg I'm so high today!!!" "Fuck the bitch that look at my bf!!" "What should I say to that hot guy to make him fuck me?" When girls get emo, the driving get emo'ed and follow their emotional. When they get high, they drive fast. When they get sad, they drive fast. End up - dying fast. Solution: Take birth control pills. It helps to lower your estrogen and progesterone and make you less emo.
Speed Hater I believe all girls hate things to be done fast. This is because they cannot handle speed and they do not enjoy the speed (look at how they perform in bed). For guys, the faster the better. For girls, the slower the better. So when girls had to drive a machine that moves that fast (>5kph, normal walking speed), they cannot handle the speed. Solution: Learn how to handle the speed and live with it!! Fast is always better =)
One of the biggest problems of having cars is dealing with the traffic jam. If you pronounce traffic jam (Tra - fuck - it - jam) slowly, you will realize how traffic jam fucks up our daily life. We might wonder what causes traffic jam in Malaysia. Cars too many? Roads too small? Everyone just happens to work at the same time? Let me explain what causes traffic jam (at least in my opinion, yea):
The Cut Queue Sohai These cut queue sohai's are fucking irresponsible and selfish. They think only their time is time, others time is not time. We wait long long at the back there, they just cut in. Sometimes cannot cut in, then block all the cars behind at the other lane that not suppose to wait. Solution: Put very sharp nails before the divider so that they will get intimidated to cut queue.
The 10 Years Construction It's common to take 10 years to finish the constructions in Malaysia. Before election, the parti parti propose to build this build that. So they start to build the pillar and put some fences there to block the whole road. After election, the construction progress totally halts. Wait for 5 years until the moment right before the next election, the parti parti continues with their constructions. "Yea, we'll finish building this after we got elected!" Okay, after they got elected, constructions got halted too. Wait for another 5 years right before the election, "Okay, we will complete this construction!!" So now they must finish the constructions before proposing another 10 years project. And the cycle goes on....... and the road will be blocked for 10 years and 10 years and another 10 years and go on............ Solution: Fuck the government!
Mat Rempit Mat Rempit are hardcore X game fans. They can do "superman", "no hand", "one wheel" all kind tricks. And even better, they do it on highways. They always race here race there, do stunts here do stunts there. One mistake = accident = traffic jam for the whole highway. Seriously, if they want to die, then just kill themselves. Please do kill other people before killing yourself, you there motherfuckerempit. Solution: If you driving car and see mat rempit, hit them with your car before they hit you! This is called first move advantage!
Blind Fucktards These fucktards are fucking inconsiderate. Although the traffic light is green, it is impossible for them to cross the junction before the light turns red. But these fucktards thought, "Nevermind lar, just 1 second only.. They can wait 1 second then they can move already.. No problem lar!" But the fact is they got jammed for 20-30 seconds and the other lane that suppose to go can cross the junction although it's green light. So when it's the other lane's turn, they did the same thing too! "Fuck lar, just now green light 20 sec but those jibai block there. Now I go block them too!" Therefore, the whole junction got jammed so fucking badly. Solution: Hit those blind fucktard with your car when the light is green. By law, you are suppose to go and they are stopping at the yellow lines = you win!
Malaysian Smart Police Malaysian police are damn smart. They can do lanjiao magic - 5 lanes become 1 lane for no purpose. If they see you use emergency lane, then it's their "kopi time"!! They purposely cause problems to the innocent drivers. So much free time do lanjiao stuff, but no time to catch mat rempit. Solution: Give them more money to drink "kopi" if you got caught. So that they can hit their monthly target with less lanjiao operations.
Too Many Tolls I don't underfuckingstand why Malaysia has so many tolls. First, oil price in Malaysia is NOT cheap!! Even USA has cheaper oil than Malaysia, an oil producing country. Second, cars in Malaysia is fucking expensive. x3 of the price due to the tax to protect our national useless cars - fucking Proton and Perodua. Third, our road tax is not cheap too. Fourth and most importantly, even if we have to pay for the tolls, we still stuck in the traffic jam. So WHY THE FUCK YOU BUILD A HIGHWAY THAT HAS TRAFFUCKIC JAM 24/7 AND CHARGE US FOR IT??? Solution: Fuck the government too!!
How can you be correct 12 times out of 14 the predictions on football matches? No human has done it before but yes, we have an octopus, named Paul, that actually did it. Besides guessing wrong twice in the Euro Cup in 2008, Paul had 100% correct prediction over the football matches in FIFA World Cup 2010. Oh my god, it's 8 out 8! If it's 50/50 chances to predict the winner, then the chances for Paul to make all these predictions are 1/28 = 0.0039, or 0.39%!!!
Are you fucking kidding me??? Why the fuck didn't I follow Paul's prediction in this FIFA World Cup?? I could have made millions! It's true, I could have made millions but I wouldn't because first of all, I will NEVER bet on football matches.
If everyone still remembers the final between Spain and Netherlands, Spain won 1-0 in overtime. Oh my god!! Paul is fucking correct again but football gamblers did not win a single cent in this match. This is because the bet can be interpreted as "Spain will win the match in 90 minutes or you lose your fucking money". So who's the winner? Paul and the casinos/mafias.
This is how it works - Paul is given two identical food with two flags of the country that are competing before the football match. Paul usually (12/14) chooses the food with the flag of the winner of the match.
It's simple to explain that why Paul can never go wrong because the choosing of the food is NOT its predictions but its choices of the winner. No matter which country Paul chooses, the casino/mafias will control the football match and let the chosen country win the match.
This is not hard to be seen. Last Euro Cup Final, Paul made the wrong prediction. People believed in Paul because he was the "oracle" and had the heaviest bet in the final game. A simple "mistake" in the final game by Paul caused billions of dollars of profits to the casinos/mafias. People won't stop believing in Paul just because of this small mistake it made because it has the correct prediction consistently.
Before FIFA World Cup Final, Paul has made 7 straights correct prediction. "Wow, this Paul must be the gambling God! Let's have my final bet in this world cup. Umm let's gamble half of my assets," the gamblers thought. But Spain and Netherlands had a tie game in 90 min and the gamblers lost all of their money. Still, Paul made the correct prediction but the gamblers lose money. As long as casinos/mafias forbid Spain and Netherlands to have a winner in full time, they can make billions of money again!
We all know how the casinos/mafias control the football world. So y'all gamblers out there, HAIL TO PAUL THE ORACLETOPUS!!
The Three Kings are LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. These Heat version of Big 3 is bigger than Celtic Big 3 or Spurs Big 3 or any other Big 3 you can think of. It's like putting Akon, Eminem and Katy Parry in a pop band. Each of the three names could single handedly bring ANY team into NBA playoff. Putting three of them together will guarantee you a playoff basketball. Championship? Hardly, unless Pat Riley put some size in their ball game. Let's compare them to other Big 3's in this decade.
San Antonio, Spurs It all started with a man called Tim Duncan - the best forward/center in this decade. Then you put a French and an Argentinian into the mix and we have Spurs Big 3 + Gregg Popovich as head coach + lots of players who do all the dirty works for them.
Tim Duncan is undisputable the best old school forward/center in this decade. His moves are always solid and reliable (except for his free throw, no one is flawless right?) in both ends. Backdown leads into a hook, a layup or a dunk = 20 points with 60% field goal + 10 rebounds.
At the same time, Tony Parker has the quickness to drive through ANY defender. "I'm going left, I'm going right, no I'm going left again, umm no right... left.... sorry see ya!!" <-- These are his crazy crossover moves. Allen Iverson probably doesn't handle the ball as good as this Frenchman right here. Manu Ginobili, the left handed dude, can do crossover, step back 3 pointer OR crossover, layup with his left hand there.
And we have players who do the dirty work (aka Dirty Crews). Bruce Bowen - a lock down 1 on 1 defender that can guard 1 to 4. Robert Horry - the Big Shot Rob that always makes the most critical 3 pointers. Michael Finley - used to be one of the Mavericks Big 3 (Finley, Nowitzki, Nash).
And this = 3 Championship!
Boston, Celtic Spurs Big 3 is more like 1+2 = 3 but Boston Celtic Big 3 is the true 1+1+1 =3.
Kevin Garnett is a 7 footer shooting guard that plays FUCKING intense defense. He knocks down 20 foot jumpers, fade away and sometimes 3 pointers. He is EVERYWHERE in the defensive end and brings the emotion to the team in defensive end. He has a "Defense Aura" around him that gives his teammates +20% defense.
Paul Pierce. Ugly moves but effective. I have no comment about him because I do not like him. He has a sexy voice though. Probably he can be a R&B singer after he retire as a player. Ray Allen is the motherfucker. He has the best shooting form that you can imagine. Lightning fast quick release jumper and 3 pointers. He is the best pure shooter that you can ever have.
And the dirty crews are: Glen "Baby" Davis and Kendrick Perkins - two fat men who plays intense defense and solid rebounding. Thanks to Garnett's "Defense Aura".
Ranja Rondo, perhaps the best point guard right now. Sorry Steve Nash, sorry Chris Paul, sorry Derron William. Not you, yes you were but Ranja Rondo IS the best!
Doc Rivers, the head coach, who has a sick annoying voice. The players were like "Okay, let's do this! We gotta do better to avoid a timeout to listen to this annoying fuck voice."
And this = 1 Championship + 2 rounds of NBA Final in 3 years
Miami, Heat Okay this not even Big 3. It's like 1.5 + 1.5 + 1 = 3 and it's not even right. LBJ is 0.5 > than any small forward and Wade is 0.5 > any shooting guard but Kobe. (Kobe is like 1.99 > 1.5)
But I don't see the big picture of a championship team. Heat Big 3 can beat ANY Big 3 in a 3 on 3 basketball but hell this is NBA, it's 5 on 5!
Where is the dirty crews? None.....
Who's the head coach? Erik Spoelstra.... I am not trying to be mean but this dude (the one in the middle) - is he a fucking coach or this is a Miami joke?
Pat Riley gotta do something to this team such as bringing in the dirty crews and more importantly coming down to the bench and be the head coach instead of having Erik Spoelstra as their head coach.
Or else, the talent of the Three Kings will be wasted.
Conclusion Bringing top players into a team doesn't guarantee championship but it does guarantee sales of jerseys and tickets. Sometimes, four 0.8 players can be very effective too (Detroit Piston). Sometimes, two 1.5 players are enough to kick yer ass (Lakers with Shaq and Kobe and Heat with Shaq and Wade). Sometimes, one 1.99 player (you know I mean who) is better than Big 3.
Nonetheless, this season will be very entertaining and the road to be a champ again is harder and harder....
USA got Spiderman, Japan got Ultraman, even Malaysia got Cicakman. China is the best at imitation, how can they miss out to create a "man" of their own. So Donnie Yen comes to rescue the Chinese, we have "Eye Pea" Man!!
There is several reasons why it's called "Eye Pea" Man. The main reason, look at all other "man"s from other countries. They share a common trait - HUGE EYES. They can go as big as an egg like Ultraman. Donnie Yen has a relatively small eye. Well, maybe his eyes are not as small as pea, but hell yeah he has small eyes!
Secondly, his English name is "IPMAN" = Eye Pea Man?? Hell yea~~
I used to be an anti Apple dude because I hate learning new things. Also, in Malaysia, Apple is very expensive and it's hard to get fixed if there is a problem. After studying in US, I was exposed to all the benefits of using Apple - Thanks to extreme advertising and word of mouth. 3 years after brainwashed by Apple's hardcore fans and advertisement, I am a Apple's fan now and I am ditching my 17" giant ass Dell laptop! Now, I wanna buy a Macbook Pro!
Apple used to an underdog in Silicon Valley. In few years time, Steve Job turned his mini Apple into a giant Apple that is able to compete with giants like Microsoft! Apple dominated the laptop, phone, mp3 player and also undefined new gadgets (such as i-touch and i-pad).
I don't know what happen to Steve Job and his employees - perhaps this is what we called C-O-C-K-Y-N-E-S-S - Apple is producing SHIT product. Now have a look at Steve Job's genius plan!
Imat? Seriously? I know this is a joke but hey - why the hell you produce something bigger and producing less such as ipad? Ok perhaps this is the trend you are looking at. What about the latest iphone 4? Complains after complains about iphone 4 and the admins deny all these complains?
Yea Apple's moto was "Think Different" when they were the underdog. They take complains and critics like a man, challenge them with their next product. Where is this Apple attitude now? Gone after their success. If they want to achieve better, they need to adjust their attitude.
Macbook Pro was the shit, but ipad and iphone 4 is a piece of shit. I believe in the near future, China will produce Orange and kick Apple's ass.
Personally, I love the way Kobe plays and he's my idol. He is one of the most emotional players on earth (the other guy is Kevin Garnett). He defends the ball as good as Ron "Ron" Artest. Most importantly, he has the killer instinct to score when the ball is on his hands. Unlike Lebron "King" James who uses only strength to penetrate, he uses his unpredictable steps which always seems to have an extra step for him to shoot. Hell yea, he's the best player on earth but here are the reasons why he doesn't deserve to be the final MVP.
Pau Gasol has been playing very consistently in the series. He had to defend the big men from "C" ranged from KG to Perkins to Babyface to Rasheed Wallace. None of the "C" big men did as much damage as the smaller players such as Rondo (who has been consistent) or Ray Allen (who went frenzy in game 2) to the Lakers. You've gotta give the credit to Pau's defenses on these big dudes!! Oh yea, Kobe defended Ray in game 2!
Pau Gasol is being clutch when he's needed to be clutch on both ends. He blocked Pierce's ball in the final minute which led to a Celtic turnover. He scored critical points when the Lakers went cold on shooting.
Kobe's shooting was terrible on game 7 and committing several critical turnovers which convert into 13 points Celtic lead.
Kobe handled the ball too much and shooting way too frequent (sometimes ineffective and sometimes got lucky). He got all the credits for scoring because he shot 60% of the Lakers possession? Give me a break!!
Kobe needs Pau more than Pau needs Kobe. Pau could have joined Wade or Lebron and still win a championship! Umm, Kobe?? You can't do that!!
Lastly, Kobe won the final MVP last year. You've gotta share the damn trophy to your fellow teammates such as Pau who won you the championship man!
Malaysian Tourism Minister Ng Yen Yen claims that some dishes have been hijacked by other countries and wants to claim them back. Dishes like laksa, nasi lemak, bak kut teh, and even hainanese chicken rice. So we Singaporeans have been eating pirated dishes ah?
In fact, the Hainanese in China had better watch out. Stop stealing Malaysian dishes, you crooks! Don't you know that all good food originated in MalaysiaTrulyAsia? That's what the slogan means! Only Malaysia is Truly Asia. Everyone else... FAKE!
Coming soon... The Real Nasi Lemak®, The Real Hainanese Chicken Rice®, The Real Bak Kut Teh®: All rights reserved, Malaysia Tourism Ministry.
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Veli the funny ler... Those dishes are Malaysian dishes of course lar, if not you think Singaporean dishes meh? Yala, Singaporean has been eating pirated dishes, now you only know? t(-.-"t) where you can have Bah Kut Teh in Cina 1? Or nasi lemak? Oh boi, nasi lemak itself is a malay word lar... By the way, Singapore was once Malaysia ler, so what you eating is what I eating.. oklar, Malay don't eat pork, but still..... Bah Kut Teh is the BEST Malaysian food you can have.
But kinda agree of Mr Brown on this - "Only Malaysia is Truly Asia. Everyone else... FAKE!" Man WTF is this man? Sohai government can change this or not? Thanks!!
There are few places where you’ll see such a wide variety of beautiful women that’ll suite anyone’s particular fancy - South Africa is one of them. And they come with a lovely English accent too.
Top models seem to come from the Czech Republic like wildfire these days. And anyone who’s taken even a leisurely stroll through Prague would have to be blind not to have noticed.
7. Iran
Persian women are some of the most beautiful, strongest willed in the world, though unfortunately often overlooked due to the shroud still lingering over women’s rights in nations like Iran. (fucking Islam!)
6. Croatia
Italian women get a lot of well-deserved looks, but the ladies of Croatia are the true gems of the Adriatic.
5. India
India has a deep, intricate and storied history, and women of legendary beauty are certainly a part of that.
4. Sweden
Tall, blond and blue-eyed– is there a more quintessential archetype for the beautiful woman than the women of Sweden?
3. Hungary
Eastern European countries are popular on this list, and Hungary sits at the crossroads of them all. All the best traits of Eastern European women mix perfectly and find just the right balance in Hungary.
2. Japan
Asia has no shortage of beautiful women, though they may get no cuter than in Japan! (such as my lovely Kaede!)
1. Brazil
Walk down any Brazilian beach and you’ll be convinced– everyone just seems to be beautiful in Brazil. Undoubtedly, this is the place to be if you’re looking for the hottest women in the world.
I tried to escape to USA to avoid some kind of animals but die gaogao in the hand of fate!! My new neighbours are PIGS!! MCB!@#!@#%!#%FFFFFFFFUCK~~~~
10 things I HATE about them:
they smell
they like to have kenduri in their tiny lil living room. It's like kenduri everyday for 50 pigs. x10 times the smell~~~
fucking noisy - bark every night until 3-4 am... MCB i wanna sleep 1 ar.....
they are very miang - bring girls back they keep steal steal look!!
yong sui - live in the entrance of the building, everyday go back have to suffer
kenduri that time cook don't know what curry, whole building also that smell.. walk pass their door also kena the smell
bark english not english, bark malay not english, spoil the reputation of Malaysian~ I'm so proud of being Malaysian 1 lar wei... Go to Sabah and Sarawak lar....
everyday drink alcohol - Allah tells you go to hell lar - unless Allah can forgive you for believing him like Jesus does.
Bikes put outside the house very dangerous meh? Why must bring back your tiny lil room ler? Scare Indon come steal ar?
female pigs always wear much much, kena fucked in the room mafan the guys to take off only.
Tomorrow Merdeka, if you wanna merdeka go to Sabah and Sarawak merdeka lar, I just want my apartment without you only =(
When one is extreme good, one views everyone else as good people. When one learns a little evil, one is confused about who is good and who is evil. When one learns more about evil, one view everyone else as evil people. When one becomes extreme evil, one view everyone else as good people again =)
Chiam a.k.a. Tommy a.k.a. chiamnoinoi a.k.a. ahbui, Ash and me (of course) went to Taipei for clubs only! Therefore I will tell you the stories of my Taipei clubbing trip!
First club we went to - on the first day of our arrival - is......... eh wait, I forgot the name of the club. It was 18 or something like that, but I couldn't find in the internet. Anyway, it wasn't a good club. At least for my experience it wasn't.
First Club (This is not the name of the club) Everytime when you first do something, you sure very noob 1 mar. Same to clubbing also lor. Even though I can be crowned as Clubbing King, my first clubbing experience in Taipei was seriously noobfucked =( First of all, we have to admit the fact that every girl is VERY different (quoted from Ah Niu - Girls Opposite There Please Look at Me). Taipei girls are like a new unexplored species of chicks. Girls are never difficult, you just need to know the way, right? But the problem is I did not know the right way - or I did not know what the girls want in the club. So total failure for that night - success rate = 0% out of 100 girls I've talked to =(
Very pathetic right? Therefore, I spend my next 12 hours thinking what's wrong with me before we headed to our next club destination
Second Club (Sorry I forgot the name again!!) The reason why I forgot about the name of this place because this is not really a club. This is more like a trance party. It's like an indoor basketball court and was made into like a stage show. DJ spinning in trance shit on the stage while we pray to the music. It is more like watching Techno-version of Andy Lau or Jacky Cheong concert haha..
At first the party was kind of boring because we had to buy drinks, despite of the expensive entry ticket. After the 0% success rate experience I had, I was actually kind of intimidated of meeting girls!! I was totally noobfucked, I agree =( MOST importantly, there was a lady who actually looks like Kaede Matsushima!!!! (60% lookalike). The reason why I used the word "lady" because I think she's above 30. But hey, she looks like Kaede, who cares? Because I was fucking intimidated, I didn't even try to approach her - something very regrettable in my trip =(
Totally pissed with my noobness, I ordered 1 vodka and 1 beer, finished them at once to get myself a lil tipsy. Wow thanks to the help of alcohol, I got some courage now! But I was still intimidated to talk to "Kaede" (man! she looks like Kaede!!! It's meeting someone biggest in your life!!) So I approached other girls.
Amazingly, my success rate was 2 out of 3 (66.66%!!!). I had lots of fun dancing crazily with the girls I newly met. Yea it's a trance party!! What do you expect? People just dance their ass off. But when it comes something more personal, I think the success rate will drop to 0% again =( But it's okay, I'm there to dance, I just want some dance, not romance.
So the trance party was good. I enjoyed and danced until the DJ stopped spinning. So what next?
Third Club - LUXY (Okay I remember the name of this club, finally!) That night was a ladies' night and it's gonna be a good good night. Yes it turned out to be one of my best clubbing experience! First of all, guys can enter for free too. Don't WTF me, yes we entered for free. Maybe because I was leading the way and I was handsome that night haha...
So guys could enter for free, there must be more guys than girls right? NO!!! I would say there were more girls than guys. And some seriously nice looking girls.
Let me put it in this way - Ash broke his virginity of talking to girls in club that night - can you imagine how much fun we had that night? I danced my ass off even without the help of alcohol. Good DJ - and I think this DJ was in Phuture too =) International famous DJ? Haha...
Too bad it was my last night in Taipei. Couldn't do stuff much because I had to catch a flight early in the morning =(
Nevertheless, clubbing in Taipei is fun. Here some few tips for you guys who are going to clubs in Taipei.
Lesson no1 - the girls' friends are always your fucking enemy! Don't even try to treat them nice! Although the girls are interest in you, their friends will pull them away thinking that you're one big prevert ham sap lou. The male friends are fucking narrow minded, scare me this handsome kao 7 their lui's. And the female friends are just fucking jealous because me this big handsome didn't talk with them. Therefore, if you really want to get a girl, destroy her friends first!
Lesson no2 - always buy them something to drink. Let me tell you how to make them dance with me - conversation + alcohol to make them tipsy. Alcohol not only helps making them to think you're more adorable, also shows that you're willingly to spend on her.
Lesson no3 - act fast, or else they will be taken fast enough to let you regret. Refer to my "Kaede" situation =(
So good luck clubbing you folks. Oh yea, to the girls who love clubbing - Taipei is a fun place to club, at least there are always guys as handsome as me!
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