The Quest of The Perfect Woman

In my previous post, I said that the girls do not need search for the perfect man. Instead, they should search for the perfect lover. Furthermore, I've showed you the candidates of the perfect lover and a real life example of the most perfectest lover. And as perfect as I am, I want to look for the perfect woman for myself too. Therefore, I've set a series of criteria to filter the non-perfect woman for myself.

My definition of perfect woman:
1. Must be able to cook.
This is the most important criteria for me because I think a woman who can cook is the sexiest because cooking makes a woman hot!! Of course, knowing bakery is a plus because I love sweet stuff so damn much - like cookies, brownies etc.

In general, I love woman who can do housework. After all, housework is meant for woman. Housewives do housework and men go hangout with their friends =D

But if every woman does her housework, then all the maids will lose their jobs. So for the sake of world economy, I just request a woman to cook, instead of doing everything like cleaning and ironing. And also I have apron-fetishism. Just for you all to know, girls in a apron is fucking hot................

Aren't they hot?

And there are many designs for you to choose!! So sexy~~~

2. Must be beautiful -
Yes, this is my second criteria and yes, I'm shallow. But believe me, being beautiful alone will not make me fall in love with her. Perhaps being beautiful is 0.1% of all the reasons to be a perfect woman. But why is it place as my second criteria? Because being beautiful is the FIRST filter to be my perfect woman. Ugly = definite NO. Beautiful = Maybe, we shall go along, see what's next and how's the progress. To be honest, this is just natural selection - beautiful = better next generation.

Okay here comes the contradiction - some may wonder: What if a woman can cook but is not physically appealing to me? This is not quite acceptable for me because cooking is for my self-interest while physically appealing is for my next generation. I can't be that selfish!!!!

What if a woman is physically appealing to me but can't cook? You know what - I will buy her "Cooking for Dummies".


3. Must be slim but slim because she loves exercise instead of not eating -

Fuck off those who are Anorexia but being fat is a sin - it's the result of laziness, insufficient self-discipline, lack of determination and fucking-eat-a-lot-of junk food. Yes, you can say that I have discrimination against fat people but probably the girl on the left attract more men than the girl on the right.

You can say I'm an asshole for having discrimination against fat people but HEY, they choose to be fat!! If they do not believe that they can slim down, go fucking watch "The Biggest Loser" and see how they do it!

Some might say, "Hey!! My doctor says having fat tissue is normal and it's healthy!!!"

But having the fat tissue all over your body is FUCKING UNAPPEALING to me and it looks (and probably is) so unhealthy. And most importantly, I don't wanna be the first person to die suffocating during sex. Please, think about your love one, start getting slim~!

Most importantly, being slim has a lot of advantage:
a). When there is fire, you are a more likely target to be rescued by the fire fighter - first, because you're more physically appealing and second, you're easier to be carried.

b). Even if you're not confident with your look, it's okay - just cover up your face with a mask and you're still physically appealing to most of the men!! And men might think that you're just being hygienic++++!!!

c). No matter what you wear, you will still look fine!! That's the magic of being slim!! Remember, fashion is designed for slim people only.

d). Slim girls have more jobs opportunity too. The reasons are first, the employers are usually horny bastards; second, the customers are usually horny bastards. Moreover, there are many jobs fit for slim people only - like stewardess - having fat stewardess will decrease the fuel efficiency of the plane. So unwise to hire fat stewardess from economy point of view.

4. Must be independent, understanding and allow me to hangout with my friends -
In another word, the woman must not be possessive nor controlling. I refuse to report my action every fucking second to you. I want my men's night out - drinking our beer, bitching about works (and sex) etc - something that can't be shared or laughed with any female around. So don't ask me what was our conversation, you know that I'm gonna lie - just like the girls' notorious lie - "Oh, it felts great!!" every time I ask after making love.

Also, she must be independent and has her own life. Her life must not be fully occupied by me. If her life = my life, why would I want someone else who has the exactly same experience as me? I can just choose myself instead, since I'm already a narcissist!!

the ultimate narcissist who uses a spoon as a mirror, o yea~~

5. Must know how to do make up -

Yes, after surviving my criteria #2, my perfect woman should be beautiful enough without make up. But who would complain if your woman becomes prettier? Besides, putting on make up is important so that we have some common topic. And I don't have to teach her how to do it. I won't mind putting it for her but if I know more cosmetic than her, she's not "woman" enough - thus disqualified as a perfect "woman". Believe me, I know much more than you expect!!

Besides, putting on cosmetic can produce variety of "her" everyday. Putting on different cosmetic with different style can really make a huge difference!! So it's like having a lot of girlfriends but in fact, I have only one. Learn the secret here to satisfy the greedy guys? That's the reason why sextoys manufacturers produce a lot cosplay sex lingerie - yesterday night she's a police, today she's a housewife and tonight she's a nurse. But the next morning when she wakes up, she's a housewife again! Putting on different cosmetic can produce the same result - believe me.

6. Must be very adventurous -

In another words - very "on"! Whatever crazy stuff I'm gonna do, she will follow without hesitation. Fuck off to those who say "NO" to base jumping! Oh by the way, partying is NOT adventurous - fuck off the party bitches who think they're fucking adventurous in the quest of cocks.

To be honest, being adventurous is not just going for base jumping or rock climbing. It's about staying young at heart; being enthusiasm at everything, old or new stuff; and never afraid of changes.

Of course, party sluts argue that "Oh yea, we are fucking adventurous because first we are young, we look young, and have a young heart. Second, we are enthusiastic about any cock, regardless old or new cocks. And third, we are never afraid of changing new boyfriends"

Oh well, they can be my perfect S-L-U-T but never be my perfect woman.

The most iconic adventurous girl - Lara Croft - I'm so gonna in love with her if she wasn't a fiction character!!! (Not to forget that she's SUPER HOT - which fulfills criteria #2 and #3!!!!! She's freaking independent - criteria #4)

If only she's a real person, then I make her read "Cooking for Dummies"!!!!!

I wonder if there is a woman who fulfills all the criteria ever exists (or existed) in the world. The closest person I get is a fiction character - Lara Croft - scores 5 out of 6. And probably she cooks because she needs to eat something while exploring the tombs. Thanks to the retarded game designer, now she can't cook because she never need to cook in the game.

So good luck for me in my quest of my perfect woman. But I ain't turning gay if I fail to search one.

What makes you your perfect woman??