Sex & Zen (1991) vs Sex & Zen 3D (2011)

Finally I have the opportunity to watch 3D Sex & Zen 2011 (3D 肉蒲團之極樂寶鑑). The reason why I really want to watch this movie because I enjoy watching Sex & Zen 1991 (玉蒲團之偷情寶鑑). Of course, I didn't watch Sex & Zen 1991 at the year of 1991 as I was only 4 years old. I would recommend others to watch Sex & Zen 1991 because it is a really good movie with a lot of good actors and actresses. I remember I enjoy so much watching Sex & Zen 1991. Not only the storyline was very interesting, but the sex scenes were very pleasurable. But I wouldn't recommend others to watch Sex & Zen 2011 because it sucks so badly not only as a porn, but as a movie too! Reviews have been done by many experts. But I will still write my own review about it because it seriously sucks so bad!



So here's the comparison between two "Sex & Zen"s" I will refer Sex & Zen 1991 as S&Z 91 and Sex & Zen 2011 as S&Z 11. 

Cast Members:
1991: More focused on the storyline, S&Z 91 does not have a lot of famous porn stars like S&Z 11. However, the stars are freaking good in acting. The main character Mei Yeung-Seng (未央生) is played by the famous Dr Ching （程至美医生) - Lawrence Ng (吴启华) and the main actress Yuk Heong (玉香) is played by the actress, famously known as one of the dim sum 叶子楣大包, Amy Yip (叶子楣). Furthermore, supporting casts are also good actors like Kent Cheng (more known as 肥猫) and Elvis Tsui (徐錦江). With such cast members, the movie can be presented very skillfully.


2011: More focused on the cast members, this movie consists of many famous Japanese porn stars like Saori Hara (原紗央莉), Yukiko Suo (周防ゆきこ) and Naami Hasegawa (長谷川なぁみ); and slutty Chinese stars Leni Lan (蓝燕) and Vienna Lin (連綺嵐). (Yea you can always tell a girl is slutty when her name is associated with "Lin" and "Lan") With such cast members, the movie can be presented very sluttishly.

Conclusion: Since Sex and Zen is a porn, I don't care how skillful are the stars in acting. I just care if the stars are slutty and skillful in fucking. Therefore, S&Z 11 has a better cast members - S&Z2011 wins!!

Storyline:
1991: A recently married scholar goes on a quest for knowledge of other people's wives, based on his philosophical differences with the Sack Monk. He encounters the Flying Thief, who agrees to help him find women, but only if he attains a penis as big as a horse's. The scholar has a surgeon attach said unit, and he's off and running on his mission, only to find that there are obstacles to his new lifestyle, such as jealous husbands and treacherous.
(Copied from IMBD. Right scene - Mei Yeung-Seng undergoes a dick change surgery)

2011: As a conceited scholar of the Ming Dynasty, Wei Yangsheng believes that since life is short, one should pursue the ultimate sexual pleasure as time allows. Wei Yangsheng encounters Tie Fei the Taoist priest's daughter, Tie Yuxiang, on an occasion. With the former's talent and the latter's beauty, they fall in love at first sight, and Wei Yangsheng is later married into the Tie's family. Yuxiang is elegant and courteous under the influence of her father's faith, though her lack of passion cannot fully satisfy Wei Yangsheng's sexual needs. His disappointment is no less than his affection for her.
(Copied from IMBD. Right scene - Mei Yeung-Seng undergoes a dick change surgery)

Conclusion: Although both stories revolve around the main character Mei Yeung-Seng, the stories are somewhat different. S&Z 91 has a simpler plot, a more comedic presentation and a more philosophical lesson. On the other hand, S&Z 11 has a very complicated plot, a more violent presentation and a more dramatic ending. Since this is a porn, the simpler the plot is, the better the porn is! I just need to understand the plot very quickly and go straight into the fucking sessions. Therefore, S&Z 91 wins! Who gives a fuck what the story about anyway?

Sex Scene:

1991: A lot of straight sex scenes and a few orgy sex scenes. There are some unorthodox scenes such as writing poems with pussy holding the pen and Elvis Tsui beastly fuck skills. Overall, sex scenes are well presented despite the actress are not as slutty. Also, the sex scenes cover the whole movies from starting to the end.

2011: A few straight sex scenes, a lot of premature cums, some SM scenes, some tranny sex secnes  and only two orgy sex scenes. Although there are only two orgy sex scenes, they are well presented as this is the fantasy of every man! However, not only Mei Yeung-Seng in S&Z 11 has a small dick, but also he cums prematurely. Therefore, a lot of the sex scenes last for only 2 second. Yes, this sucks for the girls but also sucks for the viewers. Luckily, the Japanese pornstars and Leni Lan make it up with their super sluttishness. But the SM scenes and the tranny scenes (Vienna Lin with a cock) seriously destroy my fucking appetite, although some may like it.

Conclusion: S&Z 11 has the stars advantage but not everyone likes premature cums, SM and tranny sex - and this really potong stimwtf-ed most of the audience . S&Z 91 is definitely better handling the sex scenes. Therefore, S&Z 91 wins!

Overall:
In conclusion, S&Z 91 is a much better movie - I mean seriously, we don't expect killings from a porn. Of course, S&Z 11 is still worth watching because of the pornstars line up. But don't expect something pleasurable from watching S&Z 11. You'll get disappointed. If you want something pleasurable, just watch a normal porn such as something from Kaede Matsushima or Kirara Asuka.

Some porn term that you might not understand:
1. Straight sex = Refer to one on one male to female fucking
2. Premature cum = Refer to guy gets climax and shoot too soon (usually, guys that last less than 1 minute is considered having premature cum)
3. SM - Sadomasochism = Refer to people that receive of pleasure—often sexual—from acts involving the infliction or receiving of pain and humiliation.
4. Tranny = Refer to transexual or in common term, a guy who becomes a girl after surgery or a girl become a guy after surgery. And the worst tranny is a female body with a cock.
5. Orgy = Refer to group sex. If you want to know more about orgy sex, please watch this ultimate orgy - best description of orgy.

Invasion that Could Possibly Kill Humanity.....

After writing plot for my Project Z, I start wondering what other attacks could possibly kill humanity.. Of course, after doing some research, I've found out the most likely threats to our humanity:

1. Alien Invasion

We have seen it in Independence Day. We have seen it in The War of the World. We have seen it in Men in Black. We have seen it all in the Hollywood films, and we know that the American soldier will save the day... again. Do aliens exist out there? If they exist, do they have higher intelligence than us? If they have higher intelligence than us, are they as violent as human or more violent than human? If they choose to invade our earth, what is the main reason doing so? I am a UFO believer as well as an alien believer. I believe some aliens are smarter than us, some aliens are dumber than us. But for those smarter aliens, I believe that they possess higher morality than human - as morality is positively correlated to the advance of technology. But if somehow the aliens are like Zergs in Starcraft, then we are pretty fucked up.. and prepare to die!
Possibility:          1 out of 10
Destructiveness:  10 out of 10

(It is very unlikely for the aliens to attack us. But if they attack, they are serious to wipe us out! Men in Black and US Army will not save us!)

2. Virus Infection

Virus is the most freaking annoying thing in the world. And we don't even know if it's a "living" thing because they don't possess any of the qualities of a "living" thing but reproduction. From mad cow disease to SARS to H1N1 to HIV, we are so helpless dealing with these virus infection. Virus infection that causes brain damage can even turn human into zombies (look below). But so far, we are still dealing okay with virus infection because animals evolve accordingly to survive. Therefore, even though virus infection happens every year, we are still here.

Possibility:          10 out of 10
Destructiveness:  3 out of 10

(They are not "living" things but they can be mean! Alcohol is good dealing with virus infection though)

3. Zombie Attack
Zombies can be slow or fast, depends on which movies these zombies come from. But one thing in common is that zombies are hungry for flesh and usually are caused by virus infection. Since virus infections happen always, it is highly likely that one of the virus infections could possibly cause brain damage and turn us into zombie. Luckily, Zombieland has taught us some techniques to stay alive - First, running faster than other humans is the best way for not getting bitten by zombies. Remember this, you don't have to outrun the zombie but you have to outrun your friends. Second, don't save your bullet - always kill them again after killing them to make sure they stay "dead".

Possibility:          6 out of 10
Destructiveness:  2 out of 10

(Zombies are easy to deal with as long as you can run fast! And it seems that all zombies are vulnerable to bullet!)

4. Apes Rebellion
Humans are the smarter version of apes. If humans are Window 7, apes are MS Dos (for those who have forgotten MS Dos or too young to know what's MS DOS, click here). It is possible for apes to learn the ways of human, use fire, walk with two legs, farms and domesticate other animals! If the apes become as smart as human, then we are pretty fucked up and will become their slaves because humans are physically weaker than apes. If you wanna know how much destruction the apes can make, just watch Rise of Planet of Apes and feel it yourself!

Possibility:          4 out of 10
Destructiveness:  9 out of 10

(Humans are likely to work as the apes' slaves rather than being slaughtered - which is a better alternative as long as the apes don't ass rape humans. But given evolution curve, it's not happen for the next 10,000 years. Unless, some mad scientists push the limit with drugs and radiation)

5. Insect Attack
What? How insect can be harmful? But beware humans, the earth is dominated by the insect million years ago and ever will be. They didn't seem to cause any harm to us yet. But who knows if an ant queen decide to take over the world and kill all human, human are totally helpless against these insect. Although ants are small and has weigh like a feather, all ants on the earth weigh more than all the humans on the earth! They easily outnumbered us. Not to mention that they are living in a highly organized and cooperative societies. They have strategic armies, farmers, hunters and workers. But the scariest insect is not the ant, it is the COCKROACH. Cockroaches can survive a nuclear bomb, beat this!!

Possibility:          8 out of 10
Destructiveness:  8 out of 10

(Insects have been causing problem to us all the while. So it is very likely for this attack. And it will be very destructive!)

6. Machine Attack
Since the invention of machines, we've been living in the fear of being overtaken by the machines. Movies like Matrix and Terminator serve good example how life will be when the machines attack. It is an unfair competition in man vs machine. Machines are invincible - even if you manage to kill one, you know that it will say "I'll be back!" and kill you the next day.

Possibility:          8 out of 10
Destructiveness:  10 out of 10

(Not all robots are as nice as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Neo is just a frictional character. You are not the one, remember this!)

7. Terrorist Attack
What worse than machine attack? It is the terrorist attack! Why? Because these worthless terrorists will fucking kamikazekly kill you. They are worthless piece of shit that is indestructible!

Possibility:          10 out of 10
Destructiveness:  10 out of 10

(Die! Die! Why won't Osama bin Laden die? Because beneath this man there is more than flesh. Beneath this man there is an idea and ideas are bulletproof!)

Mistakes We Make in Our Investment

Emotion is a great thing! It is a monitor to your inner feeling. Being emotional, either happy or sad, is a way to express yourself. It is essential for a human to have emotion because emotion makes us human. However, emotion is our worst enemy in financial market. We should always remain emotionless when dealing with financial market.

Why?

When we pick the stock right, we feel proud of our stock picking skills.
When we pick the stock wrong, we regret it and look for excuse to make us feel better.
We regret for missing the "right" time to buy/sell the stock.
We celebrate for not buying (selling) a losing (winning) stock.


With all these mixed feelings, we tend to make more errors (mistakes) and judge less rationally. Typically errors we made are:

1. Framing Error
Framing error is the result of getting the wrong understanding/direction at the starting point.

Example: You get stock information from a research house, which you think it is unique. In fact, you know nothing more than anybody else.

2. Representativeness Error
Representativeness error is the result of interpreting a small number of samples as the truth, which in fact, it does not represent the truth.

Example: You buy a fund because the manager of the fund has beaten the market six years consecutively. Beating the market six years consecutively is a small number of samples. The "law of large numbers" says that if given the sample is huge enough, the average result should be the expected value. In another word, if you toss the coin for 1000 times, you should be getting 50% of head, 50% of tail. But if you toss the coin for 6 times, you could get 6 heads 0 tail, although the chances are 1/64. So back to the fund manager, he can, by luck, beat the market 6 years and lose all your money the next year.

3. Availability Error
Availability error is the result of interpreting only the information that is already in your mind, and ignoring what is not.

Example: You see only all the winning funds through advertisements, without realizing all other losing funds. This makes you believe that winning funds are available all the time. Same goes to casino strategy: Slot machines make noise only when you win and they give frequent small wins to the players, making the illusion that you can win all the time and you are so close in winning if you lose.

4. Confirmation Error
Confirmation error is the result of searching for information to confirm your hypothesis, ignoring the evidence that contracts the hypothesis.

Example: You follow your own strategy and buy a stock because you expect to the price will increase. And it does. Then you confirm yourself that your strategy is correct. But if the price fells. You look for information to blame or neglect it as disconfirming evidence.

5. Hindsight Error
Hindsight error is is the inclination to see events that have already occurred as being more predictable than they were before they took place. In another word, because you can see the past clearly, you think you have a similar ability to tell the future.

Example: You think you expect the market will crash in 2008. But in reality, you suspect that the market is possible to crash and at the same time, it is possible to zoom. But since the market crashed in 2008, you think you are correct and tend to apply the same strategy in the future to avoid another market crash.

6. Extrapolation Error
Extrapolation error is the result of extrapolating past data to interpret what is going to happen in the future.

Example: Because the prices of house have always been increasing, you think that buying house is the best investment as the house price will always increase. In 2007, it proves you wrong!

7. Unrealistic Optimism/Overconfidence
Unrealistic Optimism/Overconfidence is the result of not understanding the risk enough or overestimate your ability.

Example: You think you knows more than others. In fact, you are just overestimating yourself.


8. Illusion of Control
Illusion of control is the result of believing that you have the ability to control the market.

Example: You think you can control your spending and saving each month when you receive your monthly wage. But are you really able to control your spending?

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In conclusion, being emotional is the reason why we make mistakes. We can only avoid these errors when we realize we are making these mistakes and understand why we are making these mistakes. So stop being emo!!

p/s: The plot summary draft of Project Z is completed. And I am working on my script of Project Z. Stay tuned!

Project Z

Remember my post about doing something crazy? Okay, inspired by Super 8, here's something crazy I wanna do and I need some help from you.

This is the city where I grow up. Isn't it beautiful?

And how about a ZOMBIE ATTACK in Kuala Lumpur?

I plan to make a 10-30 minutes mini movie about a zombie attack in Kuala Lumpur. Of course, it is possible to make it a longer movie if I can get enough help. I'm plotting it now and I need cast members, ideas and help. So here goes the plot summary:

The predicted doomsday in the year 2012 ended human civilization with a zombie attack started in Kuala Lumpur. In January 2011, the Malaysian government released 6000 genetically modified mosquitoes in the forest, aimed at curbing dengue fever. However, this plan backfired when these genetically modified mosquitoes spread a new virus that kill human spinal cords and brain, turning human into a mindless blood sucking, flesh eating human. The story revolves around a nerd, trying to reach his high school crush and save her from the zombie attack!

In order to make this mini movie, I need
1. An actor for "the nerd"
2. An actress for "His high school crush"
3. As many "zombies" as I can get
4. A cameraman (but someone has already suggested using her i-phone 4 Super 8 App but it doesn't hurt if I can get a better camera)
5. Video editors (I would love to edit the video using Window Movie Maker, but it would be great to have everyone around to see the effect)
6. Suggestions on music, make-up

I'm trying to get this movie done as budgetly as possible. Therefore, ketchup from McDonald is always a good choice for blood! Anyway, please leave a comment if you are interested in participating or giving help in.......

PROJECT Z

(coming soon)

Why Flaming LeBron James?

 

Give Lebron a break.. We know that the next morning after the NBA final, we can start reading flames all over LeBron James. So why flaming him? The proper answer to this question is another question: WHY NOT? If NBA is City of Gorham, then Dallas Mavericks is the Batman and Miami Heat is the Penguin. There is no reason for not flaming LeBron James. After all, he did:

#1 Leave Cleveland Cavaliers who fully supported him for seven years in such an ugly manner

There is a Chinese proverb "凡事留一线，日后好相见". Obviously, LeBron James does not understand what does this mean because Google translated this as "All things save one, a good meet future". And this also means that Google Translate sucks! Okay back to the topic, after flirting with several teams last year, LeBron James hosted a TV show "The Decision" to reveal his decision of his whereabouts in the future. Well, I understand that LeBron James wants to win so badly but it's not like Cavaliers did not anything to be supportive. In fact, they did everything they could to support LeBron to win a champion. What he did it's like a pussy flirting with a guy - making the guy to spend lots of cash on her shopping and making the guy to buy her diamonds rings, and in the end, "Thanks for all the $$$ but I'm sorry, you're not my type".

#2 Promise the Miami Heat not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven.. champions!
I supposed that he meant to bring the Heat more than seven champions while he's around. LeBron James is a great player. Even Jason Kidd has his very first ring at the age of 38. There is a high possibility that LeBron will win one ring eventually. But he's talking about eight or more champions to Miami Heat. This means that he needs at least another eight years to deliver his promise to the Miami Heat fans. Or else, he will be hated not only by non-Miami Heat fans, but also Miami Heat fans as well. But seeing how he betrayed his hometown in such an ugly manner, there are chances that LeBron James will betray the Miami Heat in his quest for his ring. Or maybe we misunderstood what he really meant. What he really meant was that he would bring not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven but ZERO champion to Miami Heat.

#3 The chalk throwing every single fucking game to annoy people like me

Some people think it's cool, some people think it's gay, some people go "wtf" every time he did this. I don't know why he does this all the time. Maybe he grows up watching WWE and he thinks that it's so cool to have his own signature move for his entrance to the game. "Triple H does his water spitting for his entrance, The Rock does his "Can you smell what The Rock is cooking" eyebrow lift for his entrance, so why not doing the Chalk move for my entrance?" This probably goes through his mind when he first started his chalk move. C'mon LeBron, this is basketball, not wrestling entertainment. When asked why started the Chalk, he replied “I don’t know why I started throwing it up. But it is definitely trademarked." Trademarked? Don't worry, nobody bothers doing such a silly move in a basketball game. Maybe a lame newbie wrestler in WWE might do this - keep an eye on WWE if you're so afraid that somebody else is doing your trademarked Chalk move. Oh LeBron, by the way, here's some tips how to use your chalk better,

#4 Choke in critical moment...again

Even if the Heat had beaten the Mavericks, Dwayne Wade would have been named as the Final MVP. And the reason why the Heat did not beat the Mavericks, it's because LeBron James choked in critical moment again. When I watched Heat-Bulls series and Heat-Celtic series, I thought that LeBron James improved his games by being critical (or relevant) in the clutch moment. And for an obvious reason the Heat won both series against Bulls and Celtic, LeBron James delivered in the final minutes. But during the final series against the Mavericks (a more critical and clutch moment), LeBron James was able to be relevant in the Heat offense. Remember how he scored only 8 points in game 4? Remember how he failed to score in the final 5 minutes of the game? I know LeBron James wanted to play a point guard like Magic Johnson. But his decision making is nowhere close. So why not use his superhuman body to score inside? And for the fact that he always chokes when it matters most, Kobe Bryant is a better player than LeBron James.

#5 Fail at Public Relation

Of course, a NBA player should care the least about public relation and care the most about practice. Or else, you might be ended up in Turkey league like Allen Iverson who talked about practice. But if a NBA player wants to publicize his personal opinions, then make sure it makes him, at least, look smart. LeBron James tweeted "Now or Never" before Game 5. Then "Now or Never" again before Game 6. Dude, how many "Now or Never" situations for you out there? Since it was a "Never" on Game 5, thus, an automatic "Never" on Game 6 too? And a "Never" for the rest of his NBA career? So there will be no champion for him? Okay, at least after his loss to Mavericks, he left the court after shaking (only) the hand of Dirk Nowitzki. Well, he had his explanation for not congratulating:

      

      "It's hard for me to congratulate somebody after you just lose to them, I'm a winner. It's not being a poor sport or anything like that. If somebody beats you up, you're not going to congratulate them. ... I'm a competitor. That's what I do. It doesn't make sense for me to go over and shake somebody's hand." LeBron James after the loss to Orlando Magic in 2009.

He called himself a winner without winning. Ha-ha, very funny.

Nonetheless, his poor public relation is mainly due to the 7-year-influence of another greater failure at public relation in Cleveland, Dan Gilbert, the owner of Cavaliers. He shows his lameness by constantly flaming LeBron James after "The Decision" of leaving Cavaliers. He boldly (or rather lamely) predicted that Cavaliers will win a champion before LeBron James. And right after the Finals Game 6, he flamed LeBron James by tweeting "Mavs NEVER stopped & now entire franchise gets rings, Old Lesson for all: There are NO SHORTCUTS. NONE." But hey, everyone else can flame LeBron James but Dan Gilbert. Remember this, you're the one who used your first pick on LeBron James out of the class of 2003. You could have picked Dwayne Wade. Then, maybe the Big Three is in Cleveland now. So accept the consequences of your foolishness and blame no one but yourself, Dan.

Sport vs E-sport

Sometimes my mum doesn't understand why I play computer games. Well, the best answer is: WE HAVE A GODDAMN GENERATION GAP. Yea, because older generations did not grow up with the luxury of advance technology, they don't quite understand why we, younger generation, love it. But actually E-sport has a lot of similarities to traditional sport like football, basketball, badminton etc.

What is sport? According to Wikipedia, a sport is an organized, competitive, entertaining, and skillful activity requiring commitment, strategy and fair play, in which a winner can be defined by objective means.

What is E-sport? It means electronic sport - which mean it is also an organized, competitive, entertaining, and skillful activity requiring commitment, strategy and fair play, in which a winner can be defined by objective means - but it is played through electronic devices. 

Organization:

Traditional sport and E-sport are both well organized. Traditional sport like football, basketball, baseball etc has organizations to maintain their competitiveness and their function as entertainment. Football - FIFA, Basketball - NBA etc. E-sport are organized too. But unlike traditional sport which is organized according to categories, E-sport is organized by sponsors, This is because the game is updated and replaced everytime, you can't expect an organization to play only Street Fighter II 20 years ago and still play the same game which no one else plays anymore. In fact, E-sport organizations covered all varieties of games.

Competitiveness:

Competitiveness is the MOST important element in sports. You don't play a sport without competing. If there is no competitiveness element, it is not a sport - such as yoga. When we play basketball, even if it is a pickup game, we want to win as badly as LeBron James wants to win a NBA championship. Similarly, when we play DOTA, even there is a feeder on our team, we want to win as badly as LeBron James too.




Entertainment:
Yes, entertainment is the MOSTEST important element in sports. It is more important than being competitive. This is the reason why we enjoy playing sports instead of washing dishes. It is fun, enjoyable, relaxing, entertaining etc to play sports. If a person does not enjoy the sport, he/she will do some other activities such as yoga (entertaining for him/her but definitely not for me).



Skills:
All sports require skills. You just can't play a sport without learning how to play. But here is why I think E-sport is better than traditional sport. In traditional sport, our skills are limited by the law of physics and our body. For example, I can never dunk because I can never jump that high due to my height of 170cm and my skin color. But on the other hand, in E-sport, our skills are limited only by our own imagination. Anyone can be damn good in E-sport. You can be fat, slim, tall, short, male, female, gay, 6 fingers etc to be very good in E-sport. But in traditional sport, you know that a fat man can never outrun a slim man. Or on average, a girl is weaker physically than a guy. There is no such limitation in E-sport. So I can imagine in the next 50 years, E-sport will be more popular than traditional sport.

So given the advantage of E-sport, mum, please stop nagging me when I play computer games, okay?

Who Would Have Thought......?

Very busy month for me which makes me talk less cock. But who would have thought a person like get so serious in studying? Yea, many things went out of your expectations - especially in the NBA season 2010-2011. Here are the list "Who Would Have Thought....":


1. ...the two-time-defending NBA champion Los Angeles Lakers got swept by playoff-most-favorable-to-choke Dallas Mavericks 0-4?
It is very difficult to three peat because humans get overconfident with their past experience of being successful twice. For example: Ron Artest sold his ring for charity early in the season because he thought that he would win another ring with the Lakers. But this is not the main reason of Lakers' loss. Lakers lost because
         i) Pau Gasol got fucking emo with Kobe Bryant and refused to perform. Pau Gasol's long time girlfriend, Silvia Lopez Castro broke up with him, thanks to the help of Kobe Bryant's wife. The Lakers players refused to give further information about that. But if this is not the reason, why Pau Gasol is playing worse than his brother, Marc Gasol?
        ii) Andrew Bynum fucked the team up by refusing to perform as he supposed to. He got overconfident with his performance and demanded to be the first offensive option but he didn't get it from the coach, Phil Jackson. Of course, he will not be as long as Kobe Bryant is the team. Kobe Bryant is a famous for ball hogging, not to mention he is the BEST player in the league.
        iii) Phil Jackson is fed up of winning. C'mon, a person has only 10 fingers but he has 11 rings to put on. Not to forget that he has a wedding ring too so make it 12! 13 is an unlucky number. To avoid the unlucky 13, he just refused to win the 13th ring!

2. ...the team with the best record in regular season San Antonio Spurs lost to Memphis Grizzlies?
This is the ultimate upset for the veteran team like San Antonia Spurs because they do not have another chance to make another playoff push. They had the best record in the regular season with Phoenix Suns signature run-and-gun offense. It's not difficult to achieve the best record with such offense for the given rooster (well, look at Phoenix for the past 7 years) but the Spurs seemed to forget how to win a playoff game - by defending the paint. Perhaps the lost to the Phoenix Suns last year made a blueprint for the Spurs to win in playoff this year? Better luck next year - oops forgot that you guys are retiring soon...

3 ...Orlando Magic who swept and humiliated Atlanta Hawks by a margin of 30 points per game last year lost to Atlanta Hawks with the same rooster?
Actually, not really the same rooster as Magic had a blockbuster trade in February. It is a very poor choice to have Hedo Turkoglu back in the Magic rooster. Yea, many people think that he runs the best 3-5 pick-and-roll with Dwight Howard but that's just all Dwight Howard's effort. Believe me, if I can play with Dwight Howard, I run pick-and-roll easily with his help too. Dwight Howard is the SUPERMAN! By playing on average 45 mins per game in the series and having 40-20 night in night out and a lost series to Hawk, this is obviously not Dwight's problem. Magic roosters just suck. Probably Dwight Howard should follow the "betrayal" footsteps like Lebron James in his free agency next year?

4 ...Los Angeles Lakers and Boston Celtic fail to meet each other to square off their rivalry?
Lakers and Boston had two upset losses to Mavericks and Heat, respectively. Lakers' loss is explained above. Boston's loss started in February when Boston Celtic GM Danny Ainge traded Kendrick Perkin to Oklahoma City. Boston Celtic head coach Doc Rivers claimed that his starters have not lost a series when they all played together. So why the fuck Danny Ainge traded such a core piece to Oklahoma City? Look where Oklahoma City has achieved with Kendrick Perkin - Western Final. Maybe Danny Ainge should grow up and become "Daniel" Ainge to make some mature trades. 

5 ...Dallas Mavericks and Miami Heat would meet in the NBA final?
This is NOT a rematch of of NBA Final 2006. Both of teams failed miserably for 5 years until recently with a different rooster. The Heat 2011 does not have Shaq "Most Dominating Ever" O'neal and Gary Payton. But they now have Dwayne Wade plus LeBron James and Chris Bosh. This is not the Heat 2006 who had D-Wade one man show. This is the Heat 2011 who has Super Friends 3 men show. On the other hand, the Mavericks 2011 is different than the Mavericks 2006. The only roosters left from the Mav 2006 are Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Terry. The Mav 2006 ran Dirk as center which failed miserably because of his softness in the middle. Now the Mav 2011 ran Dirk as 7 footer shooting guard. This shooting guard is more dangerous than Kobe Bryant because his fade away is literally impossible to defend. Dirk is releasing the ball from his hand at 9 feet height and he is fading 3 feet away from the defender. Although the Super Friends are the most athletic players in the league, Dirk Nowitzki and his Mavs are not easy to guard. So let's compare the roosters:

Starting Line Up
At Center Position: Tyson Chandler (Mav) vs Joel Anthony (Heat)
Tyson Chandler, a 10-year NBA player, plays decent basketball even back in the days in the Hornet. He hustles, he defends, he rebounds and he catch an alley oop pass and dunk on your face. And Joel Anthony - have you heard of his name? Umm no. This probably has something to do with his skills.
Obvious choice here: Mavericks wins at the center position.

At Power Forward Position: Dirk Nowitzki (Mav) vs Chris Bosh (Heat)
This is tough comparison here not because of their skills level but because of their different play style.Chris Bosh is a power forward who plays like a power forward. He loves to get inside and score while he can shoot pretty good too. The only thing you can pick on him is his inability to defend. Dirk Nowitzki is a power forward who plays like a shooting forward. He can get inside with his lefty layup (he loves to do that!) but what makes him very dangerous is his ability to shoot the ball from anywhere on the floor. He's notorious for his inability to defend as well but his offensive output can make up for that. Beat this: 40% from 3point, 50% from the floor, 90% from the free throw. You want a crazier stat? This playoff: 52% from 3 point, 52% from the floor, 92% from the free throw while scoring 28 points a night.
Another obvious choice here: Mavericks has an upper hand at this position but probably Mavericks will run Dirk as a shooting guard on the offense and power forward on the defense.

At Small Forward Position: Shawn Marion (Mav) vs LeBron James (Heat)
Many people might say this is an obvious choice that favor the Heat. Yes, I have to admit that LeBron James is considered one of the best players in the league. But Shawn Marion is called "The Matrix" for some reasons. Although the stat of Kevin Durant during Conference final was not poor, Shawn Marion's ability to make crucial stops has denied Kevin Durant and the Thunders from the NBA Final. But what make Shawn Marion "The Matrix" is not his ability to defend but his ability to score from anywhere on the floor with his signature ugly shooting style. LeBron James has yet to be defended by a pesky defender during this playoff. If LeBron wants to shine, he need to get through "The Matrix".
Of course, the favorite choice: LeBron James will be the choice compared to any small forward in the league. C'mon, he is the best small forward. But do you know that he plays better at power forward position? Like how he crushed the Celtic and the Bulls defends.

At Shooting Guard Position: DeShawn Stevenson (Mav) vs Dwayne Wade (Heat)
Just like the Heat center, Joel Anthony, DeShawn Stevenson is his counterpart. Have you ever heard of his name? Umm no - same reason as Joel's case. Dwayne Wade had a Jordanique performance in 2006 NBA Final to crush the Mavericks. He is able to do so again. Dwayne Wade is the best scorer option in the Heat. Remember when the Heat tried to run LBJ as first offensive option, they lost tons of games till D-Wade is running offense again. D-Wade makes better decision when to slash, when to shoot and when to pass.
Obvious choice here: Dwayne Wade, enough being said!

At Point Guard Position: Jason Kidd (Mav) vs Mike Bibby (Heat)
This is not the Kidd from the Nets and this is not the Bibby from the Kings either. What left in these two old men is experience and ever improving skills. However, Mike Bibby can never be like Jason Kidd, the master of Triple-Double. Well, now the master of Triple-Double is, of course, LBJ Although both lost to the Lakers eventually, Jason Kidd single handedly brought the Nets to the NBA final twice 10 years ago while Mike Bibby has never reached NBA final. Jason Kidd knows that his age slows him from splitting the defense. Therefore, he improves his shooting skills to draw the defenders on him (Steve Nash style) while Mike Bibby is just an old point guard now.
Favorite choice here: Jason Kidd - with his better experience and wider visions - he is the mastermind of the Mav offense. Look how he saved the timeout to run the last second offense at Game 4 vs Thunders. This is something Mike Bibby cannot do.


Heat To Win
Offensively
There is nothing much to analyze about the Heat offense because the Super Friends are just too imbalance. They can't be guarded one-on-one and the Mavericks are not known for their ability to defend one-on-one. However, what is more important is the Heat second unit (which basically everyone else but the Super Friends) to step up big in the final stage. The Super Friends cannot do all the offense by themselves. When D-Wade/LBJ draws defender and makes plays, the other Heat players must score.


Defensively
Known for their athleticism, the Heat is a super defensive team that forced turnover and turn it into scoring. But the Heat must find a way to stop Dirk Nowtzki one on one. Dirk Nowiztki's ability to shoot anywhere on the floor is basically unguardable. But if he is forced to pass to other Mavs, the Heat has to stop the other Mavs from scoring.


Mavericks To Win
Offensively
Everything has to run through Dirk Nowitzki. Although Jason Kidd is the brain of the offense, Dirk Nowitzki is the weapon that hurts the Heat in a lot of ways. DeShawn Stevenson is nothing more than a defender to annoy the Heat's scorer. What more dangerous for the Mavericks is its bench that full of scorers - J.J. Barea as a slasher, Peja Stojakovic and Jason Terry as deadly shooters from the wings and 3 pointers. To win, the Mavericks need all the scorers to be effective.

Defensively
Not known as a defensive team, the Mavericks get into the NBA final through their offense. However, when switched into zone defense, the Mavericks can force the Heat into a jump shooting team. If the Heat fail to make the jump shoots, the Mavericks has the chance to win the series. But most importantly, the Mavericks have to stop not only D-Wade this time, but also LBJ.

PREDICTION
No more prediction from me. My prediction stinks!!!! But I hope the Heat will lose =D You know why...

That's Why You Failed on Girls (East Asian Girl Version)

Yes, loser I'm talking about you but if you choose to continue reading this, I promise you will increase your success rate in getting Asian girls. There are many guys have yellow fetish (although I'm not one of them, I agree that Asian is better =D ). Some guys are just good at getting girls, some are good at getting only Asian girls, some are good at getting only Caucasian girls, and unfortunately some fail at getting any girls. But luckily for the last two "some", I'm telling why you fail.

But before I start, here is the golden rule to remember - this apply to ANY GIRL - Get their attention in a good way and impress them in 5 second. This is not an easy task because different girls have different opinions. Girl A might think what you did is cute but girl B might think what you did is gross. And in this golden 5 second, if you get to impress them, the next hour whatever stuff you do is cute. But if you fail to impress them in this golden 5 second, you need to bring the moon down for them in the next hour to reverse their impression on you. Therefore, you must be very careful with that 5 second you have.

Ok, let's start our main topic today: Why some guys failed on Asian girls?

1. Dress way ahead of trend

If you're in trend, that's good. If you're slower than the trend, that's okay - you're just not fashionable. But if you're way ahead of trend, you will fail the first 5 second. I know girls love fashionable guys like G-dragon or Tomohisa Yamashita who have colorful hair, blink fashion and gay accessories. And you wanna follow their fashion, but the problem is you are not as good looking as them. I'm not saying that you're ugly, but let's see this example. TOP from Big Bang latest hair style is fucking cool and he makes girls go crazy. But if you follow his style, you're just the gangster Wild Chicken (山鸡) in Young and Dangerous (古惑仔). And worse, you are worse looking than Jordan Chan (陈小春) then you will just look like an useless gangster wannabe a.k.a. lala zai a.k.a. 台客 a.k.a. Pokemon a.k.a. emo kid (depends where you come from).

Solution: Read magazines like VOGUE, GQ or Fashion. Remember, you don't have to wear Giorgio Armani to look smart.

2. Wear something that is out of place

Sometimes you wear in trend but what you wear does not fit in the occasion. For example, you're going out for a casual dinner on your first date but you're wearing a suit with a tie. Unless you have a very good reason for wearing like this, you will fail miserably on your first date. This is a common mistake made by many guys (and sadly, often by me). I know you want to dress fashionable to impress the girls. But you can't just wear like an idiot who just escapes from a mental hospital - like the guy wearing a business attire on a beach. When you dress too hard to impress, you may end up dressing like an idiot.

Solution: This needs some common sense what to wear accordingly but if you have the same problem like me, then just live with it =(

3. Try to impress her with her Native language unless you can speak fluently

If you both have the same native language, use that language. But if her native language is different than yours and you've learned that language in school but can't speak fluently, avoid using that language to converse. It's cute if you just use some words in her language. But it's fucking annoying to listen to your emmmmm-Japanese/Korean/Mandarin/Cantonese all the time.
"Emm...konichiwa.......emm....wa...wa...tashi...wa........emm...WTFYOUSAYING....em..."
Please, I know you learn that from "Japanese/Korean/Mandarin/Cantonese for Dummies" or porn.

Solution: Use the common language. If you don't have a common language, use body language! It's the most effective.

4. Try to impress her with your knowledge about her culture

It's okay if you know a lot about her culture. Unless you've been to that place and interact with the locals for quite some time, don't try to impress her with your knowledge from TV or local restaurant or porn.

Example #1: Mr. Showoff dating a Japanese girl and she loves eating sushi.
Japanese girl: I love eating sushi!
Mr Showoff: I love eating sushi too!! My favorite sushi is New York rolls.

Example #2: Mr. Showoff dating a Chinese girl and she loves Chinese food.
Chinese girl: Let's eat Chinese food. I love eating Chinese food.
Mr Showoff: Me too!! My favorite Chinese food is orange chicken. And I love fortune cookies too!!

If you're Mr. Showoff,  you can start giving up on this girl.
Solution: Don't showoff your dumbness. If you don't know something about her, ask her. This shows that you're interested in her.

5. Pretend it's someone's fart when you farted

According to fartology, the smell of your fart can travel max 3 meters. So the fart from someone on the other table will hardly travel to your table. And don't try to cover up your fart with coughing or moving the chair. These actions make it more obvious that you farted because you can hide the sound but you can't hide the smell!
Solution: Best solution is not to fart on your first date. Avoid eating food that makes you fart more often such as beans and potatoes. Luckily Asian foods do not have a lot of potatoes and beans. So a real Asian restaurant is a wise choice for your first date. But if you really need to fart, please hold it and fart it all out in the restroom. And if you farted before you are able to leave, just apologize sincerely because everyone farts and nothing wrong to hide your fart. A "sorry" and a "smile" will be just okay.

6. Show any sign of Asian stereotypes

This is very serious shit even if you are trying to be funny about the stereotypes. Avoid saying anything below if you want to continue the conversation with the girl:
1. I love Japanese culture since I first watched Karate Kid (or some Japanese porn).
2. The best Kung Fu movie is Crouching Tiger & Hidden Dragon so much.
3. You're as hot as Lucy Liu.
4. Do you study a lot in the library?
5. Asian can't drink as much.
6. I love Harajuku fashion.
Please do not get influence by movie stereotypes. Remember: Asian girls are NOT aggressive, opportunistic sexual beings, predatory gold diggers or submissive, docile, obedient, reverential or in need of assistance or rescue; good-natured at heart.
Solution: All girls are unique no matter what their races. Just spend some time on your first date to get to know more about her and stop all your fucking Asian stereotypes.

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All these will get you a good start on Asian girls. Good luck ^_^

A letter to Carmeloser Anthony... (not from me, I swear!)

Dear Mr. Carmelo Anthony,
First of all, I want to congratulate Celtic for sweeping you. I always think that you're fucking overrated and you proved me right again. You know what, you should change your nickname from "Melo" to "Ser". I know that in the league we have Dwight "Superman" Howard, Lebron "King" James etc for their nick and I think "Ser" suit you well so that now everybody can call you Carmelo"Ser" Anthony.

Let me tell you the best part of this series. It wasn't the 3 pointer by Ray Allen because we expect him to do it. It wasn't your 42 points game because we know you're a ball hog. The best part was the interview with you after your game 2 loss:

"The Celtics didn't do anything special, they won two games on their home court. Now it's our turn to do the same thing." 
-- Carmelo Anthony @ Game 2



Wow, you called a team that just beat you two straight nothing special? Yea it's true that they have home court advantage but they still beat you (with lots of lucks). But what now when you have home court advantage? You lose two straight. 

I admit that the Celtics did nothing special for winning two game straight at home because everyone expect them to do so. But losing two straight at home to the Celtic, that's something special.



By the way, have anyone told you that you look like a God in Taoism? If you don't know which God, let me tell you now - it's the Great Pig General who lead 100 thousands Angel Warriors 天蓬元帅 猪八戒. Please don't take this as an insult. In fact, it's a compliment for saying you look like a God.

Lastly, I hope you do better next year. But for now, your nick will be Camerloser until you prove that you're not. See ya~~






Truly yours,
An anonymous flamer

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p/s: Again, this is not written by me but an anonymous flamer.