How to Prevent Your Bag being Snatched by Snatch-thief

One of the best things living in Malaysia is that we get to blame ANYONE for ANY problems we have. For example, when we're fat, we can blame that Malaysian food is too fucking delicious for us to ignore. When the Malaysian Airlines keep losing money, we can blame that they didn't have the beautiful stewardess like other airlines, precisely Airasia which has the prettier stewardess). When we have a slow road construction (which probably take around 10 years), we can blame the Malaysia weather for being hot or rainy, which impede the constructions.When we have rape crimes, we can blame the victim for being seductive. And now we have snatch thieves, we can blame that victims are too dumb to notice the potential danger.

Since we can never blame the inefficiency of our government - which causes Malaysian Airlines fail, high crime rates, and many other problems, we have to find our own way to prevent bad things happening to us.

Let's explore the ways to prevent your bag being snatched in Malaysia:

1. Ask your boyfriend not give you any bags -
- Yes, this is the best way to prevent your bag being snatched. Probably the poor little snatch thief need to snatch your bag because his fucking annoying girlfriend keeps asking him to give her one handbag! So by asking your boyfriend not give you any bag, you have successfully
a) prevented your bag being snatched - because there is no bag to be snatched!!!
b) prevented your boyfriend becoming a snatch thief - hence, reducing the bag-snatching cases.


2. Support pirated bags -
- Okay, I know bags are girls' most needed items next to bras and shoes. So it is quite impossible to ask them not to ask their boyfriends to give them bags (poor boyfriends). But why not using a pirated cheap bag? By using cheap pirated bag, you can
a) lure the snatch thieves to snatch other more expensive bags - hence protecting yourself
b) have less emotion attached to the bag even if it is snatched - just get another cheap ass bag

Method #1 and #2 are very effective against snatch thieves and very economic. But sometimes girls are too stubborn, they rather die than using a fake bag or using no bag. Therefore, we can try some alternative methods.....

3. Put a bomb in the bag -
- Beware!! Putting a bomb in your bag might get you labelled as a terrorist. But this is very effective way to prevent snatch thieves. Imagine you have a bomb in your bag and the dumb snatch thief got your bag. And the next thing he knows - KAABOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!! He will lose one hand if he's lucky. So if every girls has a bomb in her handbag, the snatch thieves will either
a) get killed by the bomb
b) lose their hands and are not able to snatch anymore
c) quit snatching bags before either a) or b) happens.

Of course, putting a bomb in your bag might be dangerous to you too. Therefore, you can try the next method.... which is safer and same as effective!

4. Put a dog in the bag -
- You know why Paris Hilton's bag has never been snatched? You're so wrong if you think that it is because of her bodyguards. The real reason is that there is a dog that bite in her damn bag!! Plus most of the snatch thieves in Malaysia think that dogs are ritually unclean (you know why) - another point for them to avoid snatching a handbag with a dog inside. And if you can put a pig in your handbag, they will not even bother get near to the your bag. So dogs and pigs are welcome in your handbag!!!

So good luck, preventing snatch thieves - we don't need to blame ourselves for having low awareness (like the idiot blames on us)