I'm Destined to SUCK Because I Graduated from school.

Since young, my parents and school teachers have been telling me - in order to be a successful person, you gotta study hard and get all As in any exams (includes all shitty government exams like UPSR, PMR & SPM).

However, when I get older, I realize that getting all As in these shitty exams are just waste of time and effort. I spent most of my puberty to fucking study just to get all As instead of playing sports. That is one of the reasons why I'm so short (thanks to Malaysian education).

And what worse, I successfully graduated from my university and this is the worst decision I've made. During my freshman/sophomore year, I partied like a rockstar, met a lot of cool people, and failed to get into business school. But under pressure of the bad education system, which made me think that I'm failure if I don't get into biz school, I spent of my precious party time to study and graduated from school.

And now, I'm so destined to SUCK in my life because of that wrong decision to graduate from school. Why? Because if I fail in school, I might be one of the following:

1. Bill Gates - a Harvard University dropout but the founder of Microsoft, one of the richest bastard in the world - who produce the most shitty OS yet too few competitors.
2. Li Ka Shing- a high school dropout but the lord of Asian real assets and the richest Asian.
3. Lawrence J. Ellison - twice college dropout but the founder of Oracle, another rich bastard.
4. Michael Dell - a college dropout but the founder of cheap but shitty computer, Dell - Duh, what can you expect for the quality produced by a college dropout!
5. Steve Jobs - a college dropout but the founder of Apple - If he finished college, he might name its brand "Beer" or "Weed" or "Vodka" or "Doggie" or "Cowgirl" instead of "Apple".
6. Walt Disney - a high school dropout but the founder of Walt Disney. Believe me, it was the mouse that distracted him from studying!
7. Ingvar Kamprad - a high school dropout but the founder of IKEA - cheap and lovely furniture, he makes everyone has a beautiful home.
8. Wayne Huizenga - a college dropout but the founder of THREE fortune top 1000 companies and SIX NYSE listed companies! Probably he can't find a job due to lack of education. Then he decided to build companies to hire himself.
9. Barry Diller - a college dropout but the founder of Fox Broadcasting Company.
10. Mark Zuckerberg - another Harvard dropout but the founder of "Hello??" Facebook, making $4 billion at the age of a-hem 24.. I guess Harvard produce successful people by failing them.
11. Giorgio Armani - a medical school dropout but the founder of "Giorgio Armani" - thank god he failed at medical school so that we are able to enjoy his amazing designs.
12. Asa Candler - a primary school dropout due to excessive drinking of soft drinks but the founder of Coca Cola.

 .................And the lists go on and on..............

Now you see what I mean? I'm so destined to SUCK because I graduated from school!!!!!! Fuck my life~~~

The Cock Day

You didn't read this wrongly - Yes, there is a day to celebrate something a man ALWAYS proud of - The COCK. Maybe someone out there is not proud of his cock, but it's okay - because at this day, it's the cock day. I ain't talking cock about the cock day because every first Sunday of April, the cock day festival is celebrated in Kawasaki, Japan.

What is this Cock Day about?
This cock festia is called Kanamara Matsuri, which means "Festival of the Steel Phallus". For those who don't understand what a phallus is - A phallus is an erect cock. Yes, you didn't read this wrongly either - the name of the cock festia literally means "Festival of the MIGHTY IRON COCK!!"


Why is the Cock Day being celebrated?
There is a Japanese legend that a sharp tooth demon stayed in a girl's vagina (fucking horny bastard!). This pussy demon ate two men's cock during the poor lil girl's two weddings. A blacksmith built an iron cock (iron dildo) and fucked the girl so badly that he killed the demon. And hooray, the pussy demon is dead and the cock day is born! And this is the day we all should celebrate because fucking kills evil, hence purifying us. The more we fuck, the closer we are getting to the heaven! Some even are able to travel to the heaven for a moment while fucking. Hooraay to our cock!

(Click on the image to see the pussy demon in action!!!!! ----->)

How do the people celebrate the Cock Day?
Since it is the Cock Day, the main theme of this celebration will be our beloved cock. Therefore, you see cocks everywhere - in the form of candy, decoration, carved vegetables, statues for prayers and the real thing (some show off).


Talking about the cock statue for prayers, a cock mikoshi will be carried from the shrine to the neighborhood for the people to worship.

Why do the people worship the Cock?
There are a few reasons for the people to worship the cock. The businesspeople worship the cock for business prosperity. The hookers worship the cock for protection against sexually transmitted disease. The couples worship the cock for good sex life. The gays worship the cock for the sake of being just gay. The guys worship the cock in the hope of getting their own cocks bigger and staying longer.

And the girls worship the cock for a few reasons. First, they want to thank the rock-hard cock that kill the demons inside them. Second, the cock is the key to the heaven once a while. Third, they worship cocks just because they are girls.

(disclaimer: I'm not sexist!!! For entertainment purposes only)

Yes, we love cocks!!!!!!!!!