Friday, December 16, 2011

Lessons from Fairy Tales #1 - Aladdin

Weeks ago, I went to watch Aladdin, the musical. Aladdin is a very famous Arabic folk tale, thanks to the successful effort of Disney in cartonizing this folk tale. If you still remember the story, you can skip the summary plot (written by me). And if you don't, let me present you the story of Aladdin.....


Aladdin, a useless society trash who lives in the street of Arab, stole for living. One day, he met the Princess Jasmine, the princess of the country at the street.

After some flirting and corny pickup lines, Aladdin successfully laid Princess Jasmine.


Due to Aladdin poor background, they were forbidden to marry each other. However, Aladdin continued to sneak into the palace to meet (fuck?) Princess Jasmine. 


Aladdin was captured by the evil Grand Vizier, Jafar for loitering in the palace and was tricked to retrieve the magical lamp in the deadly Cave of Wonder for Jafar.


Aladdin was trapped in the cave and summoned the Geenie accidentally.


Geenie granted Aladdin wish to be a Prince


Aladdin, as Prince Ali now, proposed to Princess Jasmine. At first, he was rejected. He invited Princess Jasmine for a ride on the magic flying carpet and they fell in love.


Jafar tricked Princess Jasmine to exchange Aladdin's magical lamp with a new lamp. Jafar used the Genie to become the Sultan himself and enslaved the original Sultan and Princess Jasmine.


Aladdin fought Jafar bravely and trapped Jafar into the magical lamp. Aladdin revealed the truth to Princess Jasmine. The Sultan, feeling indebtful to Aladdin, allowed Princess Jasmine to marry Aladdin despite his background. They lived happily ever after.


So what is the lesson of this story?

#1 Women are fucking materialistic.
Why??!?!? How?!?!?!? At first Jasmine was annoyed by Prince Ali as she still missed Aladdin. But when Prince Ali offer her a ride on his "magic carpet", she was amazed by the magic carpet. And after a journey on the magic carpet, she fell in love with Prince Ali. What the EFF is this? In the real world, it means that guys who has the "magic carpet" can court girls much easily than guys who don't. In another word, guys who has an amazing ride (like SPORT CARS) can court girls much easily than guys who don't own shit. Don't believe a girl who says she's unmaterialistic. Try to offer a ride with a Ferrari and with a Toyota, then tell me which has the higher success rate. In fact, studies has showed that women are aroused by sports car. That's why Jasmine chose to be with Prince Ali, instead of waiting for Aladdin....


#2 Women loves listening to lies
How do you think Aladdin, a useless street rat, can court Jasmine? He has no house nor a job and he steals for living. If he's living in our world, he's labeled as social trash, who creates all the social problems to the innocent citizens like us. But hey, why social trash always has a stupid dumb girlfriend - like Jasmine? Firstly, girls are dumb - DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!! Secondly, girls love listening to lies. Aladdin just fills up Jasmine fantasy of life that she never had and promises her all the promises he will never be able to fulfill. Yea, you call him asshole, but how many of you girls fall for guys like this? Women just love listening to lies instead of truth, because they are too weak to accept the cold hard truth. Oh you know why girls prefer guys with taller nose? Because they are better at lying!!!


#3 If you wanna be successful in life, you're gotta hold on to the "Genie"
Not many of us are born Kings. We have to work our ass off everyday to have a better life but most of the time, we are just working our ass off without getting the rewards. Ya we can blame this and blame that. But why they are people who are just more successful than you are? This is because they hold on to the "Genie" who grants them their wishes. We don't meet our "Genie" everyday and most of the time, our "Genie" is disguised in an old lamp - which hardly recognizable as our "Genie". Therefore, we have to very sensitive to every possible chances in our life and fucking hold on to it. Once we have our "Geinie", we have to fucking abuse it - then you can be as successful as Aladdin.

How to abuse Genie #1 - Use it wisely for your own good!

How to abuse Genie #2 - Use it ASAP when you have the chance!!


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So let's recap what we've learnt from Aladdin
#1 - Women are fucking realistic
#2 - Women loves listening to lies
#3 - We must abuse our Genie in order to be successful

1 comment:

Jean said...

Mr. Pork gonna love this post Cox u agree with his theory, kind of. Lol