Why do we have Traffuckic Jam in Kuala Lumpur

One of the biggest problems of having cars is dealing with the traffic jam. If you pronounce traffic jam (Tra - fuck - it - jam) slowly, you will realize how traffic jam fucks up our daily life. We might wonder what causes traffic jam in Malaysia. Cars too many? Roads too small? Everyone just happens to work at the same time? Let me explain what causes traffic jam (at least in my opinion, yea):

The Cut Queue Sohai
These cut queue sohai's are fucking irresponsible and selfish. They think only their time is time, others time is not time. We wait long long at the back there, they just cut in. Sometimes cannot cut in, then block all the cars behind at the other lane that not suppose to wait.
Solution: Put very sharp nails before the divider so that they will get intimidated to cut queue.

The 10 Years Construction
It's common to take 10 years to finish the constructions in Malaysia. Before election, the parti parti propose to build this build that. So they start to build the pillar and put some fences there to block the whole road. After election, the construction progress totally halts. Wait for 5 years until the moment right before the next election, the parti parti continues with their constructions. "Yea, we'll finish building this after we got elected!" Okay, after they got elected, constructions got halted too. Wait for another 5 years right before the election, "Okay, we will complete this construction!!" So now they must finish the constructions before proposing another 10 years project. And the cycle goes on....... and the road will be blocked for 10 years and 10 years and another 10 years and go on............
Solution: Fuck the government!

Mat Rempit
Mat Rempit are hardcore X game fans. They can do "superman", "no hand", "one wheel" all kind tricks. And even better, they do it on highways. They always race here race there, do stunts here do stunts there. One mistake = accident = traffic jam for the whole highway. Seriously, if they want to die, then just kill themselves. Please do kill other people before killing yourself, you there motherfuckerempit.
Solution: If you driving car and see mat rempit, hit them with your car before they hit you! This is called first move advantage!

Blind Fucktards
These fucktards are fucking inconsiderate. Although the traffic light is green, it is impossible for them to cross the junction before the light turns red. But these fucktards thought, "Nevermind lar, just 1 second only.. They can wait 1 second then they can move already.. No problem lar!" But the fact is they got jammed for 20-30 seconds and the other lane that suppose to go can cross the junction although it's green light. So when it's the other lane's turn, they did the same thing too! "Fuck lar, just now green light 20 sec but those jibai block there. Now I go block them too!" Therefore, the whole junction got jammed so fucking badly.
Solution: Hit those blind fucktard with your car when the light is green. By law, you are suppose to go and they are stopping at the yellow lines = you win!

Malaysian Smart Police
Malaysian police are damn smart. They can do lanjiao magic - 5 lanes become 1 lane for no purpose. If they see you use emergency lane, then it's their "kopi time"!! They purposely cause problems to the innocent drivers. So much free time do lanjiao stuff, but no time to catch mat rempit.
Solution: Give them more money to drink "kopi" if you got caught. So that they can hit their monthly target with less lanjiao operations.

Too Many Tolls
I don't underfuckingstand why Malaysia has so many tolls. First, oil price in Malaysia is NOT cheap!! Even USA has cheaper oil than Malaysia, an oil producing country. Second, cars in Malaysia is fucking expensive. x3 of the price due to the tax to protect our national useless cars - fucking Proton and Perodua. Third, our road tax is not cheap too. Fourth and most importantly, even if we have to pay for the tolls, we still stuck in the traffic jam. So WHY THE FUCK YOU BUILD A HIGHWAY THAT HAS TRAFFUCKIC JAM 24/7 AND CHARGE US FOR IT???
Solution: Fuck the government too!!